If you are offended by the topic of enemas or the shaving of genitals, do not proceed to read this Blog. I have tried to be as lady like as possible in my delivery of this concern, so please insert a visual of me blushing here as I go forth. Thank you.
You may be thinking, “Wow, Chloe blogged twice in one day?” Actually, no. I have a few blogs complied and have been working on finishing them to post before I leave for my Surgery Trip to Thailand. This blog centers on an "issue" I must face once there -and- its one that has had me thinking for some time, with clinched fists. I want to post it now, so when I am over there [and when it happens], I can reflect back on my thoughts of [it,] then, and now.
No one will ever accuse me of shying away from talking about things we ladies would rather not talk about, but know we all have to go through, or do. One of these things is something I've really feared and dreaded - and something that's going to happen to me in preparation of my surgery...
...the Dreaded Enema! *Que sinister music*
Now, I have never had an enema, nor really even understood its usefulness – until now. Reading on the subject, I have come to understand some people enema to remove the toxins in their lower intestine. Others perform them for sexual pleasure - sometimes administered by a Dominatrix to their Submissive. (Who knew!?)
Googling "enema," I was astounded at all the resources on the subject -and- the seemingly endless recipes(?) for all the things one can enema with and why. (Yes I said “Recipes” for enemas.)
The purpose of all this reading up of the subject?
I have to under go, like, a MASSIVE one [or three] when in Thailand… and as I said before, I have NEVER had one. Now it is my understanding that you will be placed on a medical bed with a tray underneath you – then a hose is inserted and the pressure begins to build. Simple enough, right?
Maybe its part immaturity, and part modesty, but gawd! I mean, MY GWAD! What year is this anyway, 2008? We can put men on the moon [and given them a vagina too] but we cannot come up with a better way of performing an enema?
I asked one of my general practitioners here in Ohio (an old military guy, with a warped sense of humor). When asked about enema methods, he said to me, “Chloe, there are a few practical methods - as for mine, all I need is a grenade and a funnel... if you know what I mean...”*sigh* ...men.
Through my online investigation, I have found a site that specializes in selling items to people just like me who are too modest to go through the check out line to buy them at a brick and morder drug store. [yep, I’m a wimp] The website's name is "Shop in Private." They carry everything from Enema’s too special tiny condoms for men who are, well, lets just say still shopping for jeans in the juniors department at Sears.
Checking the mail today, I see my "special package" arrived for... um... well... YOU KNOW!
Ssssoooooo, now that I have administered myself one, I have to say... it wasn't so bad… at least for the home version. (Note to self: Use warm water next time)
If you have never done one on yourself before, then consider this question carefully: Have you ever tried stuffing a marshmallow into a piggy bank?
I know, I know. “T.M.I”
I heard the clinic where I will have my surgery has a machine with a hose connected to a pump! OMFG! What if it fills to much? "Fill it to the Rim, with Brim" shouldn't be coming to mind right now... coffee anyone!? lolThe procedure: You lay on your side, the hose is [gently?] inserted and you have to wait ((!!!!)) ((!!!!)) the "substance" fills you... and then a nurse tells you to hop off the table and run to the commode where you then release! ((!!!!Thank the Lord!!!!)) Once finished, you will "risen and repeat" this 3 more times, until... well.... YOU KNOW!
This is why I decided to practice [as silly as it sounds] a dry run of it… [or should I say a wet?]
Now, if that little bit of “intimate worry” on house-cleaning wasn't enough to get me puckered up, then there is ALSO the preparation of “grooming” the Beans-and-Frank with a complimentary shave. Doh!
Ok, now, in fairness, I've been off hormones for a week, and, well, things are starting to happen again… ummm, lets just say the soldier has found a last wind to stand at attention when ever - even when no one said “Ten-hut!”
What happens if during the “Grooming” preparation that he decides to go out with a solute? [OMG… how embarrassing…] I know, I know, grow up Chloe… but, can I do anything to prepare for this? I am not sure. Better question: Do they need that to happen? Gahh… I am soooo embarrassed even thinking about it.
I’m imagining when I awake after the surgery procedure, looking down at my leg area with blue sheets still covering my legs resting in stirrups; its very quiet, then all the sudden as I am looking at the sheets between my legs, 4 Japanese tourists with camera’s rise from the floor and all say at the same time, “ahhhhhh veddy nice , veddy nice Ms Plince; now say... Cheeeeeeeese”
(Blog and some comments re-Posted from my original Yahoo 360 page)