Each year, this day serves the gender variant community as a sobering reminder that, if your Transsexual or Transgender, then you are a target.
Before I transitioned, it never occurred on a day to day basis that someone might want to kill me – I never thought about it. I mean, I was always careful walking to my car and looked both ways when I crossed the street. However, if you ask any transgendered person and they will tell you, once you openly identify as Transgender or Transsexual, you have added your self to a list of people that are targeted by individuals and groups who are religious extremists & fundamentalists - who, given the chance, would beat or shoot you down for being different.
Do you live in fear? I do, somewhat.
I have had nightmares of home invasions, being chased, to my children being abducted aimed at harming me personally. Before I had my genital reassignment surgery, I lived with the fear that, if I were raped, I would be killed brutally for having been discovered to have a penis. I don't know - can I take calm in the idea that "at least now" I do not have to worry about the penis portion? I know countless others still do.
I live openly and do not hide my name, or what I do for a living or who I work for. Not all can do this – and I understand that, because of the dangers involved.
The picture above is of someone very special to me. She is the one that brings this day into focus for me even more. Her name is Barbara Ann. She was not a victim of a hate crime per say. Barb took her own life in July of 2008, the day after her divorce proceedings had stripped her of her last copping mechanisms. The day after her divorce, she called me and the life in her voice was completely gone. The next day, she took her own life. Her youngest child found her the next day, after overdosing on sleeping pills in her bedroom.
Last year, we were together to commemorate this day together - today, I am in pain.. seeing this photo, overwhelms me now...
...the eyes, they say it all.
Barb, her spouse and children are all victims of sa senseless tragedy. So too are the spouses, families and friends of those who have been lost due to hate crimes… they are all victims. My heart goes out to the families and loved ones of these people.
But I will NOT allow this day, or these fears I have, or the evil in this world to douse my calling to be authentic to my nature. I remember today, that these people who died, did so unwillingly – and I will not let them die in vein. I choose to stand – and I will give voice to these fallen souls by living in tribute to their memory, to pursue equality, in that, the lessons of today will be learned; those who served as our teachers will never be forgotten and the future that lay ahead will be void of need for this day on all our calendars, forever.
Sources for Trans Day of Remembrance. (Thanks Tamera!)
Memorializing the dead of 2008...
http://tinyurl.com/6rfgqh
Memorializing the dead of 2007...
http://tinyurl.com/5or559
About the Transgender Day of Remembrance... http://tinyurl.com/69ew95 http://tinyurl.com/27hqzv
List of events and locations and dates of observances... http://www.transgenderdor.org/
Other DOR related links of interest... http://tinyurl.com/59hzyp http://tinyurl.com/655ram http://tinyurl.com/5o2kea http://tinyurl.com/3myc96 http://tinyurl.com/6x54ws http://tinyurl.com/68hyzp
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, she is honored by your loving remembrance of her.
ReplyDeleteThe idea that anyone should have to live in fear because they are different saddens me greatly. Life is surely difficult enough for each of us, we need to all be supportive of each other.
~Hugs~
i am sooooo sorrry to have heard of this incident.
ReplyDeletewhat those who might harm us don't understand that each person is unique and very different and yet oh so very simular just in being human. let us never forget this!
for examp
le as a professional musician and teacher i have played as a soloist in many churches and what i have come to the conclusion is that so many of us are so blindered in our views many times we are all saying the same thing just a SLIGHT bit differently. sort of like chefs arguing over how many sprinkels to put on the cookies they have baked how sad they had all done the same goal but now want to throw it away over details. how sad. look what we could accoumplish by learning from each other and being a bit more tolerant look at the oppertunities lost for learning from each other.
there is a joke about the differance between hevan and hell that says a group in hell was all sitting a round a food kettel whith very long handels on spoons they were issued yet they couldn't get the food to their mouthes and they were moaning hungerly.
now the same picture in heaven put the group had learned to work togther and were using the long handels to feed each other and were quite content..... so you can see the moral of the story is to work together for the benifit of all. and no one will go hungery even just in their mental statice.
Great blog Chloe. Being a friend to the Transgendered community, my heart goes out to you. Again, I urge people to be educated as to their options regarding protecting themselves. Check out pinkpistols.org.
ReplyDeleteIt's ridiculous that in this day and age things have to be like we are living in the Dark Ages. But prejudice will rear it's ugly head time and time again. All we can do is try and educate and hope that not everyone "judges a book by it's cover".
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing woman Chloe, god bless...Happy holidays to you and us all.
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