Do Girls STILL Wanna Have Fun?

When was the last time you put your heals on and went out, JUST to be seen? Geeez do I miss having fun… Everything and everyone has become so damn serious!?

Well, this I am certain...

….this town needs an Enema!!

My Gawd, what has come over us? Do you even remember what it means to be having fun these days? From what I have been reading, I would argue, “no”! So what’s happening to us?

Maybe it’s the Blogs I have been reading, or the emails people have been writing me, but I feel an infection has spread like an epidemic upon our community. With all the politics, labeling, and power struggles going on – who has the time to be happy?

Everyone seems to be trying to “set the tone” of what IS and ISN’T proper for Trans people to be doing… This is why I LOVE my Cross Dresser sisters. Now, I have as much baggage as the next Trans-Person, but I am actually jealous of CD’s in their ability to enjoy themselves and have fun. For the most part, once one accepts they’re CD, they learn to compartmentalize their life by keeping their Boy & Girl life separate – and I respect that… no, I ADMIRE that! I wish to bugger I could have!

Now, I’m not trying to “call to arms” a Fishnet Cop Parade on Burdon street, but at the same time, we don’t have to settle for buying the medium sized Jacuzzi either. So why aren’t we getting out ?

If you find yourself falling into this category of sitting around asking yourself “What the Hell Happened?”, then maybe you need to do yourself a favor: Get out that favorite dress, load up on the eye shadow, call your sisters, score some tickets to see Obama & Hillary on Ice – and afterward , grab the Video-Cam and do donuts with your SISTAH’S in a snow covered parking lot at 1am!

Use your imagination… but what ever you do, don’t stay home and allow life to pass you by. To quote Kung Fu Panda “Yesterday is history; Tomorrow is a Mystery; but today, is a Gift… That’s why they call it, The Present”.

If you’re feeling the stagnation of not progressing with your gender presentation, could it be that it hinges on your ability to exercise it in open space? To find out, give yourself this quick Exam:

• Have you been repeatedly covering yourself in Tattoos in order to feel like you have SOME control over changing ANY aspect of your body?
• Is your Panty drawer over flowing with bargain bin underwear with the tags still on them?
• Are the batteries in your vibrator expired?
• Are you more concerned with the rise and fall of the Thai Baht or making a run for the moonlight madness sale at JC Penny?
• Do you know what LimeWire is?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, its NOT to late for you – there IS help. If the places you usually haunt have gotten boring, then venture out. Spend a few bucks and GO SHOPPING for yourself… and (Note to self: Insert shameless plug here) if you swing by the Victoria Secret Store, I am not apposed to gift cards from there, or anywhere else. {grin}

Seriously though, you may find that a change of scenery and even companions might just be the taste of success that will suit you. But like anything else though, you have to work at it and if you don’t use it, YOU LOOSE IT! No matter what the reason this season, don’t allow another day to fall off the calendar settling for life’s curbside seats.

What are you waiting for?

We Remember... Barbara Ann Eftimiades

If your Transgender, I don’t have to tell you what day it is. But, to those that came to read this page, today is “Transgender Day of Remembrance” - A Day that remembers those who paid the price of being Transgendered, with their lives.

Each year, this day serves the gender variant community as a sobering reminder that, if your Transsexual or Transgender, then you are a target.

Before I transitioned, it never occurred on a day to day basis that someone might want to kill me – I never thought about it. I mean, I was always careful walking to my car and looked both ways when I crossed the street.  However, if you ask any transgendered person and they will tell you, once you openly identify as Transgender or Transsexual, you have added your self to a list of people that are targeted by individuals and groups who are religious extremists & fundamentalists - who, given the chance, would beat or shoot you down for being different.

Do you live in fear? I do, somewhat.

I have had nightmares of home invasions, being chased, to my children being abducted aimed at harming me personally. Before I had my genital reassignment surgery, I lived with the fear that, if I were raped, I would be killed brutally for having been discovered to have a penis.  I don't know - can I take calm in the idea that "at least now" I do not have to worry about the penis portion?  I know countless others still do.

I live openly and do not hide my name, or what I do for a living or who I work for. Not all can do this – and I understand that, because of the dangers involved.

The picture above is of someone very special to me. She is the one that brings this day into focus for me even more. Her name is Barbara Ann. She was not a victim of a hate crime per say.  Barb took her own life in July of 2008, the day after her divorce proceedings had stripped her of her last copping mechanisms. The day after her divorce, she called me and the life in her voice was completely gone.  The next day, she took her own life.  Her youngest child found her the next day, after overdosing on sleeping pills in her bedroom.


Last year, we were together to commemorate this day together - today, I am in pain.. seeing this photo, overwhelms me now...

...the eyes, they say it all.


Barb, her spouse and children are all victims of sa senseless tragedy. So too are the spouses, families and friends of those who have been lost due to hate crimes… they are all victims.  My heart goes out to the families and loved ones of these people.

But I will NOT allow this day, or these fears I have, or the evil in this world to douse my calling to be authentic to my nature. I remember today, that these people who died, did so unwillingly – and I will not let them die in vein. I choose to stand – and I will give voice to these fallen souls by living in tribute to their memory, to pursue equality, in that, the lessons of today will be learned; those who served as our teachers will never be forgotten and the future that lay ahead will be void of need for this day on all our calendars, forever.



Sources for Trans Day of Remembrance. (Thanks Tamera!)

Memorializing the dead of 2008...
http://tinyurl.com/6rfgqh

Memorializing the dead of 2007...
http://tinyurl.com/5or559

About the Transgender Day of Remembrance... http://tinyurl.com/69ew95 http://tinyurl.com/27hqzv

List of events and locations and dates of observances... http://www.transgenderdor.org/

Other DOR related links of interest... http://tinyurl.com/59hzyp http://tinyurl.com/655ram http://tinyurl.com/5o2kea http://tinyurl.com/3myc96 http://tinyurl.com/6x54ws http://tinyurl.com/68hyzp

The Entitlements to Birthed Humans

By the authority of humanity: All human beings born (past, present and future) are irrevocably given and will recognize above all other written constitutions, treaties laws or imposed authority by any entity or person, the common rights to equality of justice, opportunity to knowledge, employment, entrepreneurial and/or property ownership, self-expression, the institution of marriage and the sanctuary of choice over ones own body, to be applied unbiased by any category of gender, race, age, disability or allegiance to authority or religion, to be given the highest priority uniformly, among all living human beings, without exception to ones crimes or debts.


Whats so complicated about that?
-Chloe

Pregnant Man, Jenny Boylan and Barbara Walters

This Friday on ABC at 10pm Eastern Time, 20/20's Barbara Walters interviews "Thomas Beattie" - the Female-to-Male (F2M) Transgender man that made international headlines as "The Pregnant Man".

This is a very complex situation.  If there is one thing people love to do, its putting labels on anything and everything - this story will have many talking at the water cooler for months. Which is a good thing... even if it would seem at first strange or even negative.

I know many in the transgender community that were upset about this story when it first broke.  Their fear was and is, that the main stream of society would once again be left by the media being "hood-winked" and rope-a-doped into the old "guy in a dress gag" - only this time, the punch line is its a woman impersonating a man.

Clearly, it is difficult for many to accept transgender people for who they are, even at face value.  When they see a woman stand infront of them, most never question in their minds "Gee, I wonder what they would look like as a man".  Once someone has knowledge that you are Transgender, that can't help themselves to start cross-examining you in their mind what you must have looked like or sounded like "before".

So, now ABC asks America, and the world: "Pregnant Man?"

Anatomically, Beattie is female. Granted. When he transitioned, he underwent a mastectomy, took hormones to grow some facial and body hair and finished it off with a quick stop to the court house to change his name legally to "Thomas".  These things however, did NOT make him a male.  They helped him to "pass" as a male, but we are not talking about "parts" and "semantics" of ones gender.  What we are talking about here is one's gender "identity"... ah HA! you say.

Thomas is "male" because he identify's that way.  the same way anyone would identify as a Beatles Fan, or a lover of Dogs, or a chocolate ice cream addict. No one can REALLY needs to explain why they are these things - THEY JUST ARE.  Gender is the same thing.  You "identify" your gender... it does NOT matter what genitals you were born with. Those genitals are just PARTS.  Your parts are by design for sexual reproduction.  Your sexual preference has nothing to do with what parts you are born with either. Just because you were born with a penis, doesn't mean that you will be attracted to women.  Mainstream society and the bible (written by men) would have you believe and fear, that, the parts you were born with, dictate who you should love, and what colors you should like - Blue for boys, Pink for Girls... *sig* Can you feel the migraine head ache coming on yet?

The Pregnant Man challenges all the rules.

No doubt, people will label Thomas Beattie a "woman" that had a baby.  Wrong.  Thomas "identifies as a man.  This is completely ignorant - choosing only testicles and ovaries as the indicator of one’s true sex has been totally dismissed by modern science. There are women born with no ovaries, men born with no testicles and their true sex as they perceive it is often clearly that of a man or a woman.  Transsexuals understand this too, and it is not arbitrary to their genitals. When they are able to understand, express or voice it, they will begin to self identify in the gender they choose - but this is not an over night thing for many.  For some, it is clear right away. Others struggle or are afraid to "come out" and do something about it.

Media can not, and never will get it right. I am currently involved with a project now (with ABC I might add) filming my own story (more on this to come). But I fear.. no, I "KNOW" that most in the transgender community are going to HATE IT, pick me apart, and they are going to be as clueless, as the main stream is in trying to understand ANYONE that is transgender, on television.  My story will be no exception.


In related news:

Chloe Prince & Jenny Boylan
Fantasia Fair 2008

Jennifer Boylan, the Author of the Transgender book "She's Not There", will also be on with Barbara as a guest, discussing the issues. Jennifer is a close friend of mine and I happen to know that they did a unique interview with her, and her children at her home which will also be included in the special - so we will have a brief look into her personal world and family that resides in beautiful Maine.

You won't want to miss this - set your DVR's and VCR's!!!

What are your thoughts on Pregnant Man?


**To the Beattie family: My best wishes to you *hugs*