Electrolysis on Avenue Q! (New 2009 Update)

(Reposted & updated from my 360 Blog)

Ever feel “Not so fresh”?

For anyone that's ever had unwanted hair, whether it was on your face, back, or even in your most unmentionable of places, and wanted to do something about it, this may not be the Blog for you.

What you need to know: Electrolysis, is a very humbling experience.

Pictured Left (pre-FFS 2008) is what I look like before I go to each of my electrolysis hair removal appointments, once a month.

The Saran Wrap on my face is (you guessed it) to hold in my freshness. I apply a prescription cream on my face called "ELMA", which contains 2.5% Lidocaine & 2.5% Prilocaine, to help mildly and temporarily numb the first layer or 2 of your skin. This helps to ease the pain of the hair removal process, and is usefull in either the Laser or Electrology hair removal chair. You'll need a prescription FIRST becasue hair removal technicians are usually not doctors (or required to be) and can not write perscriptions - just big bills!

I started my hair removal process in the summer of 2005 with a treatment of "I.P.L. Laser". If you've never tried a a laser treatment, well, all I can say, is that its not too bad until they have to put it under your nose or the corners of your mouth. Then, it feels like someone just used your face to shoe an angry mull!

{wham} {wham} {wham}

Over and over again. Sometimes I counted them hiting my face as many as 40 times in the first pass, then another 40 on the second pass at the higher setting... (as if you weren't ready for the "big girl" setting on the first pass).

In the course of 1 year, I endured 12 laser treatments to the face, neck and arms with good results. But lasers do not work on light colored or grey hairs. Being that my hair is naturally dark brown mixed with a few premature greys, 95% responded well, but left me with the some grey to deal with down the road. And oh boy, can those grey hairs be resistant!

Keep in mind the fact that I have Klinefelter’s Syndrome - becasue of this, I had very minimal facial hair around my muzzle area, or body hair other wise.

In truth, my heart goes out to all the Trans-Women that have to endure literally, 100's of costly and painful hours for years, of laser and electrolysis. I have heard cases of 4 – 6 years of working at it, is usually normal.

Before I go to my appointment, I prepare by drinking LOTS of water the day before. This helps keep the skin moister, and in turn, helps the "mixed blend" of AC and DC current flows from the electrolysis needle, to the targeted unwanted hair better.

Now, my drug of choice is Perkiset - it helps ease the pain mostly by minimizing the whole “ordeal” if it all. Valum is good too, but be sure to ask a doctor about it first and of course, use it only as directed. *winks* . Some people have NO problems; others (like myself), view the electrolysis as a torture chamber – but a necessary one if we want to have a feminine face clear of any facial hair.

{zap}{zap}{zap}

If the {zaps} wasn’t enough... The technician, using tweezers, lightly "tugs" (not pulls), but "tugs" on each zapped follicle, to see if it will easily slide out of the raw, sizzled hair shaft. If it doesn’t easily come out, {zap}{zap}{zap} again, and again - until it does slide out on its own! It has to slide out; it can not be "plucked" out.

The tech and you know when a follicle has sizzled at the root, it will release from the shaft effortlessly with no pain. However, if the follicle is zapped while it is NOT in its "growth stage", chances are that it will grow back, even if zapped, because it was in its RESTING stage, and you will need to have it zapped again when it grows back.

Zap, tug, ZAP, tug, ZAP, tug…. Again and again and again.

If you can imagine sticking your face in a barrel of angry bee’s you’d be about there… but the bees would have to also pull your whiskers while they stung you…

NOW YOU’RE COMPLETELY IN THE MOMENT!

Again, the work under the nose can be deliciously painful! I don’t care who you are: THAT HURTS LIKE A MO-FO! Its something I go and do alone - Electrolysis is a private hell - one that the rest of the world doesn't have to endure to be who they are. I lay there crying streams of tears, unable to move, even a muscle in fear of the technician missing, or the needle stabbing me to deep causing a scar. The song playing on my Blog today, its a tune I hum when I go to the appointment. It’s from a Broadway play called Avenue Q. OH MY GOD, its awesome; you simply MUST see it. It’s the Muppets meet Archie Bunker. lol

I forgot to mention the best part of electrolysis:

It's F*ing EXPENSIVE!

-Chloe