Its been one week and Rene and I have read your comments and have complied a list of questions most asked. So we will try to address them here.
Before we get started, you must keep in mind that ABC compiled 1000’s hours of tape while following our lives the past year. In the end, they used 48 minutes of this material – some of which was used out of its original context from which it was taped. Rene and I did NOT have any editorial control, nor did we get to see the final product before it aired. That being said, understand, the footage was used to tell a story from the producers points of view.
Klinefelter’s Syndrome & the bee sting.
During our interviews (which lasted hours each), both Rene and I gave accounted details for how this all happened, but ABC did not use that footage. It would have helped to support the story – that, and the use of a leading expert on TV. ABC was referred to both a Doctor by myself, and was also given a leading expert from Harvard University to offer credibility to the story. Michelle Angelo (the therapist in the episode) herself referred ABC to this Harvard University Specialist who, in fact, DID verify all the information given and said YES, this is accurate, and not beyond the realm of possibility. Why ABC did not put that specialist on TV to (at very minimum) offer testimony and credibility of what Klinefelter’s is and how it affects the body, is beyond me. I can understand why some want to pull me off the carpet for a panty check. However, even just having an expert in the show to touch on what XXY is, would have confirmed to the public the credibility of the syndrome.
Usually, XXY is caught at birth in this day in age. However, it wasn't always checked for when I was born in 1971, unless there was a reason to do a chromosomal count. Today, chromosome are checked when a baby is born for any variation or abnormality. Having XXY is NOT a birth defect or a disease – it’s simply ONE in close to 100 human chromosomal variations.
Many males are given testosterone to counter the physical ramifications that XXY causes – Breast development, muscle and hair development on the body, etc. However, there is no widely accepted long-term study that proves “testosterone” has any significance in changing, or holding too ones gender identity they feel in their mind.
Something that was lost on the editing room floor when I explained why I made the choice I made in NOT taking testosterone, was that I was dealing with “2 separate issues”. Yes, I was diagnosed 46/47 XY/XXY Mosaic, however, I also have Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID). Having GID is a “mental health” issue and is completely unrelated issue to having a “physical” issue like Klinefelter’s.
The reason I did NOT take testosterone was a personal choice because I felt that the changes that were happening to me were congruent to how I felt in my mind. It is not recommended taking testosterone if you are diagnosed as a Male to Female Transgendered person or Transsexual, having GID. Even though the physical aspects would be helped with these testosterone injections, it is not proven that it would align ones mind to these changes. For personal reasons, I choose to allow nature to take its course. I’m not right or wrong for this choice – it was simply natural for me to allow my body to do what it was designated on a chromosomal level to do.
Why should I have to take something that everyone else wants me to conform to, but feels like poison to me? That is not anyone else's decision but my own - and unless you have lived a day in my skin, one should not judge me for my choices. I did the best I could in a situation where there is no manual, except to have faith in myself, and what I know I could live with. This and much more was on tape with ABC – but it was chopped.
I understand the feelings of other transgendered people – the argument is, some people will now think/feel that if someone doesn’t have Klinefelter’s or other physical need to transition, then why should they? This is completely off base. As I said before, and on TV, I have always felt a gender variance and expressed it privately by cross dressing (Way before I knew I had Klinefelter’s). Anyone that identifies as transgendered or gender variant, all arrive under the umbrella "transgender" through a unique perspective and set of circumstances. The diagnoses of Klinefelter’s did, in fact, act as a final catalyst for me to start taking steps towards identifying as “Chloe”. I won’t apologize for that – only say, this is my reasoning and everyone has their own, which is no more or less valid… just unique.
As for the Bee Sting – During the interview, Rene herself gave an account for this. After I was stung, I was rushed to the emergency room by Rene. I was having a terrible reaction to the poison which was causing breathing restrictions, swelling, and a violent reaction to my endocrine system. I was given hormones & Epinephrine to counter this reaction. After about an hour, the reaction was normalized and I was referred to my local doctor. There I was given a Blood test in the hopes they could help give me treatments to build my immunity to bee stings. My local doctor referred me to a Endocrinologist based on the blood test results. My Endocrinologist ordered a series of tests, including a Karyotype test and another Blood sample. From these results the Endocrinologist diagnosed me as having a Chromosomal variation known as Klinefelter’s Syndrome. At this point the doctor gave me the options of taking testosterone injections, but at this point of the diagnoses, I had not begun to feel any physical changes (yet). My thinking was, after 32 years of living as Ted, I seen no point to taking them to change anything about myself - especially to make myself more masculine looking! Eeww!!
6 Months later, I began to see unexpected changes in my body, which included breast development. Now I had always been cross dressing to this point privately, however, with these changes, came a sense of clarity for me. I felt blessed with these changes… but at the same time, it was a curse too. People around me began looking at me strange, as if I was sick or had cancer. I started to have to bind my breasts at work or when visiting family and friends.
As time went on, I worried more and more – I didn’t know what to do – "should I take testosterone and make everyone else happy?", I would think to myself... Or continue on making me happy? (Which the development was making me happy) I know it was selfish, but for the first time ever, I finally felt “normal” with these changes - like the person I was meant to be.
Still I sought out council with a therapist, and over time, began to accept who I am without guilt for it. I began to understand that, others will always want me to be something for themselves or others – but I am the one that has to live comfortably with me. I can’t be the best I can be internally and mentally, when I am in conflict.
The bee sting was just a catalyst, again, that brought into focus something that was always there. Blood tests taken over time showed that my testosterone levels resumed, but produced less amounts than before and instead, increased the levels of estrogen produced. Again, hormones (testosterone) was offered to counter this – however, I refused for personal reasons.
At this point, I started seeking out support from local cross dresser groups, looking for answers to my identity. It wasn’t long after that, that I started to segment off portions of my "boy life" and started living a 2nd secret life being “Chloe”. It was difficult to keep going back and forth all the time – and in time, I decided I couldn’t do that anymore. So, I choose what made me most happy – a choice I knew I could live with the rest of my life, come what may.
In fairness to the producers of ABC, in trying to tell this very difficult story with it's multi layers of issues, did some thing’s inadvertently some injustice. However in the allotted, and depth of understanding (from an outsiders perspective) of the subject matter, I think they did the best they could, given the circumstances. I have received so may positive emails from the majority of the community - still there are some left with mixed emotions - some being sadness to anger. All these things in my opinion are good. I asked ABC to NOT make a fluff piece. Transition is NOT pretty and people are going to be upset and angered. It needs brought out on the table for people to dicsuss and see the problems we face so that we can all examine it and work as a society to improve the process and offer more options. I give ABC alot of credit. They did their homework and I know first hand that the producers poured in countless hours of their time to make this piece a good as they possible could. Will there be more - LETS HOPE SO! And lets also hope its not another Scripted Trans-person on TV hocking their book "Poor me, Now What?", or a guy in a dress on Jerry Springer giving "Shout Outs" to their Mama back home. "Look Ma' I'm on T.V.!"
The Ex Girlfriend
Another issue that I felt was WAY off base, was the “Girlfriend” being visited. ABC left the perception that I made “the perfect excuse’ to go see an old girl friend to do some soul searching and find validation. This was and is a complete spin job.
The truth is, I was in Washington DC to support The National Center for Transgendered Equality (NCTE) lobby days (Photo Right). Over 100 people from around the country descended in on Washington to Lobby the Senate and the House on behalf of the ENDA bill and the Hate Crimes Prevention Act. I had reconnected with an old girlfriend (Jennifer) on Facebook prior to this trip and told her I was coming to Washington to Lobby. She offered her support to me while I was there. Jennifer actually attended our dinner and had the chance to meet our community and become familiar with our issues. ABC only showed you the portion when I met up with her for the first time WHILE LOBBYING FOR RIGHTS! It was NOT to make a love connection – sheesh! Rene knew about this meeting WAY before I even went to DC and was supportive of me meeting an old friend.
I should also clarify that when I said in the interview “I felt the love I once had for her rise back to the top”, I meant that as “I was seeing her through Ted’s memories” and I remembered what it was like being in love with her... I remember the old feelings because she is still the same wonderful person I remembered. I paused and considered what my life would have been like had I married her – I pondered: “Would I’ve done this, and what would her life be like?”… THAT too was left out of the interview on the edit room floor. Instead, it came across as me making the insinuation that it was Rene’s fault for not being enough of a woman to keep me from transitioning – which is completely wrong. I would have transitioned no matter what… and that is why I said it was a “fleeting moment”… Not because I was considering dating Jennifer or that I needed to examine that prospect.
I spoke to Jennifer about these thoughts and she too felt the same – that life worked out the way it was meant to be. Jen did offer a lot of validation to me in the fact that she was one of the rare friends from my past who accepted me unconditionally and reached out to give her support. That’s worth noting, and respect.
Where did the money come from?
Another issue for some was how I paid for the surgery. Not that this really should have even been on TV, but since it was… The fact is, I and Rene have good jobs that pay above average. We owned assets and multiple properties and have retirement accounts too. Rene, being 9 years older than me, has built her own 401K that far exceeds my own. We have never had combined accounts and each of us agreed to separate bills and accounts in the beginning of our relationship. When Rene was asked about the money and she responded “Where did she get it?”, it caught her off guard because we do not keep an accounting over each others finances.
ABC asked for a number on how much was transition, in total? Adding it up in my mind it came to $70,000+. However, it was not included in the show that this money was taking into largely consideration that my employers insurance paid for my therapy, hormones and doctor office visits. The rest was covered by myself, which was still considerable. However, I do not have a car payment, and both my vehicles are 1997 and a 2000. I considered the money I borrowed from my 401k as a new car payment that I was paying back to myself… and felt justified in that. I have since paid that loan off. The show left the viewer with the impression that we are in financial straights because Rene lost her job (due to outsourcing). And I won’t lie, its been tight, but we're managing. She is looking for work, and if she cannot find one soon, we’ll make more adjustments. But by no means are we up the creek with out a paddle. I think its fair to note that I took this loan out 2 years before she lost her job or we had any indication she was going to lose her job.
Rene herself has the freedom to handle her own finances and she does without question from me… why is that a problem if I do the same? Again, it was more dramatic to “Que the sinister piano music” and make it appear that the big bad crossdressing daddy spent the family jewels on, well, the family jewels.
Children on TV was another hot debate. This admittedly was a personal decision for Rene and I. In the end we came to the conclusion that the children would be better off knowing the truth up front, and not living with a secret. The fact that EVERYONE ALREADY KNEW was left out of the TV program. Our kids have always been “out” for having 2 moms, for which one is known to be their Dad. The children’s school, our church, and neighborhood have ALL known all along. There is no secret. We felt this was best, and yes, there have been a few isolated instances that we had to deal with on a case by case bases – BUT – overwhelmingly, our kids self esteem is what’s important, and they do not go through life carrying a secret or trying to hide anything. They do not have to worry about losing anyone as a friend if someone finds out, because everyone already knows. That is a choice that Rene and I had to make together. Only in the long run will we know if it was the right one – but to date, it has been the correct choice. We deal with the issues as they come, but don’t lose sight over the fact that over all, the choice is working, and there will be an idiot that comes along every once and awhile… that’s true in any regard no matter the situation.
I would also like to point out a view point that was voiced by someone else i read on another site, and that is: No one had a problem with the Children from the Award winning documentary "No Dumb Questions" being put on TV when their uncle was transitioning. Why am I considered a horrible parent and "using my kids" for doing the same thing?
Damn the torpedo's!
There was also the perception that I made the decision to transition with out any notice or choice given to my wife. This also was left on the edit room floor. I started Transitioning 3 years before I had surgery. Each step was another death for Rene. I would go to Rene and discuss it, and of course her answer was always HELL NO! I could only live with this answer so long – I told Rene if she didn’t start budging or coming around to the fact, that I felt it was time we needed a divorce. Rene would always say “fine”, but never follow through, and in the end, she would come to terms with it, usually because she felt she was trying to keep the family together. I tired to assure her that I would support her and the kids, and that it would be best for all involved, but she didn’t want a divorce.
It was after this, I finally proceeded forward knowing that I had offered her the solution, and she didn’t take it. So I did what I had to do to be comfortable with myself. Selfish? Yes… on both our accounts. But I think it was the right choice, because we ARE making good progress together (now), and feel very close to one another.
Rene doesn’t consider herself as a lesbian. On Camera she said she has never had intimacy with me – but this is a few shades from the truth. If there is a word for what we are, it would be Transbians, at minimum. Of course, when your dealing with putting things out on TV where everyone you know is watching, it’s not something you wish to own - No one wants to spill their own (T) on TV. But those that know Rene and I, know better.
On a final note
We have given our story, and the information to those that needed to verify it, and they have done so to the degree they felt comfortable enough to go forward on TV with it. Some Trans-People feel so personally invested in any main-stream media that comes out on the subject, and will be offended or attack it, if that subject mater is not scripted politically correct to their brand of thinking. Some feel a story like this unglues their truth they've sold to the public. Instead of trying to properly compartmentalize this story from their own it will be attacked or discredit because the very idea challenges main stream views being sold as a catch all for what it means to be Transgenderd. The reality is, everyone is unique and each of us have our own unique story to tell.
Also, I’m not a feminist nor scholar. As such, I'm not overly sensitive to being watchful for stereo-typical things I may do out of innocence, or other wise… I know I have big boobs... and I’m proud of them. I admit too, that I like wearing clothes that show my flirtatious nature. I enjoy wearing make-up, but most days you will find me NOT wearing any at all. I don’t define my life or regard myself a female because of these things either. They’re just things I enjoy and if that makes some feminist feel like kicking in a window, I can understand why they feel that way but would ask them to kindly get over themselves and go sell anti-avon somewhere else. The world doesn’t revolve around anyone person or group of person’s ideals or views. I on the other hand, admit I am a self centered and vane person - so, consider the source to any of this last paragraph. :)
I know my story adds something’s for other Transgendered people to have to explain to others to differentiate themselves from me… that’s ok, and I’m sorry for the added burden. But its true none the less, and its important to note that we all don’t arrive to presenting as our chosen gender in the same way – this, was my story.
We recieved over 700 emails privately in the first day alone that the special aired - even more since then, and even more in PinkEssence, and other social networks like MySpace, Facebook, and comments here in Blogger. Overwhelmingly, we'd estimate 95% of them are positive. One of them, was from a man, who had not spoke to his son that had transitioned in over 5 years. He writes, that, after the ABC show, he found a "new understanding". The man called his son and asked for “her” by name when he called… they have since met and are becoming reacquainted with one another. For Rene and I, and families like us, letters like this make the burden of scrutiny worth it.
In closing:
The issues addressed here we felt, if ABC had included or left in, would have made the program much better and satisfied the critics (mostly other trans people or their partners) of their concerns. Over all, we (and the letters we have received) feel that ABC did an outstanding job in trying to convey a very complicated subject on a transgendered couple, that has ever been done to date. ABC was not looking for another typical Trans story that would be scripted to avoid the Documentary Trans-Drinking Game. That's why they chose ours. They wanted sincerity and people that were not afraid to be vulnerable.
We hope in the end, that people will see that we tried our hardest just to be honest as we could be, baring in mind our children's and extended family's private lives... and understand, that honesty comes at a price of being challenged... We both feel that our story broke open the doors a bit wider for discussion in homes around the world - and for that we feel justified.
Thank you again to ABC for helping to bring this topic out into the public's eye for another look from a much different perspective.
If you missed the ABC Special, you can view them all here on Primetime's Website (At least for now). The series is broken up into separate sections, so I will provide all the links.
Good Morning America Promo:
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8135131
Interview with Michelle Angelo:
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=8132230
Part 1
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=8141394
Part 2
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8141488
Part 3
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8141570
Part 4
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8141704
Part 5
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8141764
Part 6
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=8141810
ABC Photo Stream of Pictures from Show
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/MindMoodNews/popup?id=8100642
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
The 123's of ABC in Review
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
103 comments:
Wow...first comment?...lol. Chloe, I knew you would be a little disappointed with editing because they really only have about 45 minutes of that 1 hour show.
What's important is that the vast majority of people that saw that show were shown a different side of being T...a side that displayed the gamut of human emotions. I was a little disappointed when they talked about the money you spent. Over all though, I felt like I was being introduced to Rene' and gaining a better understanding of what it's like from the spouse's view. Some people will be worried about the children's exposure to your transition, but my experience with kids is that they are much more accepting, resilient, and loving than people realize.
Every minute your family spent on this show was a minute well spent...trust me. Rene'...thank you for your love for your family. Your dedication showed many in the world what is possible. Hugs to you all. :)Suzi
Thanks for the excellent follow up Chloe, although you really never need to explain or justify anything to me. I am so proud of you girl, and just love the way you have courageously taken ownership of your life. To me, you are unusual in that sense, because so many of us tend to be somewhat on the timid side.
I knew from the start, that ABC didn't come close to telling the whole story. TV documentaries never do, especially on the commercial networks. I mean how can they, when they reduce 1,000 hours of material, down to 48 minutes, broken up by commercials? You did good girl! God love you, and God love Rene and the kids too!
Melissa
As a contributing author of Tranny Drinking Game, rules 26-31, I am am more than a little embarrassed at the mean spirit that the game, and many who choose to play it has taken on. It has morphed from an enlightening lark to a judgmental screed. Some people extended their dissatisfaction with the edited documentary to unkind and unwarranted criticism towards you and you family.
I appreciate the detail you have provided and understand your need to defend yourself, your family and the decisions you collectively made. But let me say, for me, it was unnecessary because I always assumed the explanations were on the cutting room floor. I will admit, I was suprised by the extent of the spin. For instance, I think I could see through the "ex girlfriend" episode as a television induced drama where there wasn't one. However, I could not imagine the extent to which they colored the financial discussion to paint you in a poor light!
I so get the bee sting thing to. For me, a couple incidents with melanoma triggered my "bell" to transition. In this case no direct medical cause and effect, but the same result. I am an absolute believer in people's right to believe whatever they want concerning the big "why" question concerning GID: Pixie Dust, DES, Hormone Wash, Shit Happens...its all good. (That said, I certainly never doubted the truth of the medical part of your story) I'm only sorry I didn't speak up in "that other place" sooner.
I watched the show with my partner and 20 yr old daughter, and on balance, we found it enlightening and discussion inducing. A warm thanks to you, Rene and the boys!
CiCi
(And I really do care...about the happiness of you and your family!)
I certainly think you are quite beautiful if I may say so. wonderful job with your primetime interview, I can only imagine how hard that may have been to do
You are and were Beautiful last night on ABC.
Hugs
Toni
Just wanted to say hi and tell you I watched you last night and you handled your self very well and lady like my wife now is starting to have a little better understanding of me and my ways thanks to you.
You also made me see what to expect if I ever get the $$$ to fully transition.
Thank you and bless you and your family
Take care
Hugs & Kisses Jenny Mae
You are probably the most emailed girl in America this morning.
Great piece on Primetime. Nice work. My heart sang, sunk, and soared within that hour. When you said that if you hadn’t done what you did there would be a gravestone out there… I know how that feels.
Be well, be you.
Kristy
Dear Chloe,
I just want to add my personal and heartfelt thanks to you, and your family, for telling your story on Primetime last night.
It was so emotionally moving, making me smile and tear up at various moments throughout the entire show. Sometimes i was crying in sympathy for you, and sometimes i know i was crying for myself.
But the overwhelming emotion was very positive in admiration for you, and for your courage in telling your story to the general public via this popular television show.
I think it was one of the two best tg/ts programs ever on American television; the other of the two best was, in my opinion, the Barbara Walters special two years ago on childhood transition for very young ts's.
Kudos to you, and lots of hugs too.
Nancy
HI CHLOE, Here is my take on your medical history. Hi Girls, I hope all of you watched Chloe reveal herself and her family to the world. Now a few things did occur to me from a medical standpoint. Chloe explained on the Web that she is not the typical Klinefelter's patient, that you Googled, but a Klinefelter mosaic, where some cells in her testes are plain XY and she contributed her Y to her sons, but other cells right next to each other are XXy, which caused a decrease in testosterone production and decrease utilization by the Androgen receptors of T all though her body, brain, breasts, skin, hair, etc. Now it just occurred to me watching the show, that it wasn't the bee sting that caused this change, but the treatment of that bee sting with adrenocorticoid steroids in massive does like a 1,000 mgs of Prednisone or more, which you ordinarily take in a dose pack of 10-20mgs per day. That is the usual treatment for a severe allergic reaction with epinephrine. Now I have seen that shut down the adrenal gland, which produces testosterone among other steroids . That's why you girls take Spironolactone to decrease Adrenal Production of testosterone. Now the adrenal usually recovers it normal production in a week from a massive suppression. But something unusual happened, it stopped producing testosterone. It shut down!! Again, we all know that all humans produce both Testosterone and Estradiol naturally and this remains in a fine balance until something like exogenous or endogenous hormones changes that. If Chloe cares to obtain her ER records, I would bet that scenario. It did definitely happen as witnessed by her bodily changes. The bee sting and her appearance in the ER set this in motion, Take somebody with reduced T and reduce it further and we very often see breast development in up to 50% of Klinefelter's. Now Chloe's GID, Transsexualism and female identity is a separate medical condition which had always been with her since she remembers at age 4.
Yes, there may have been changes to her immune system, but she doesn't seem to be suffering from that. Take somebody with reduced T and reduce it further and we very often see breast development in up to 50% of Klinefelter's or menopausal men reduced T, when treating Prostate Cancer. About 5-10% develop breasts with treatment suppressing testosterone to castrate levels. Now Chloe's GID, Transexualism and female identity is a separate medical condition which had always been with her since she remembers at age 4. And was untouched by the testosterone surge of Puberty and would not have responded to increased T at any point in her life. Many times we give Klinefelter children Testosterone injections to help them though Puberty and beyond with hair growth. That was not a problem for Chloe as we saw the beard early on. We don't how many male Klinefelter children have a female identity. I'm sure nobody has asked them, but we might start now. WOW!
Hi Chloe, I just finished watching your ABC special, and I must say, that is an amazing story of courage and bravery. I had no idea. While my situation is not quite the same as yours, I fear the consequences of how my family would react if they knew the truth. I have 4 children (two very young boys and two older children). I do fear how they would react to "Tammy."
Your story is absolutely wonderful, and I thank you for being braving and sharing with the world. You truly are a special person and deserve to be happy no matter how that comes about.
Tammy
I just wanted to write and tell you how much my wife Connie and I enjoyed the show. We could relate so much with what you and your wife have been going through. I came out 9 years ago and had SRS 3 years later. Our marriage of 28 years nearly ended with SRS. We managed however to get through it and are doing quite well though it does have it's awkward times.
So I just wanted to congratulate you and your wife for a very nicely done documentary. I think you have done very well for our community.
Hugs,
Chris
Chloe,
Your story gave a lot of people who knew nothing about TS people a lot more insight on the problems so many of us face. I AM sorry that not everything was portrayed perfectly and some things were misconstrued, but overall the broadcast was very positive. I have had "normal" people mention to my how much they enjoyed it and that they learned a lot from watching it. The TS community should only thank you for your courage to do the show!
I also want to thank you for a line on your latest blog post:
"...Others will always want me to be something for themselves or others – but I am the one that has to live comfortably with me."
VERY well said indeed!
I wish only the very best for you and your family!
Brittany
Hi Chloe
I think you are very brave to face the onslaught at MHB. Some of the members are assholes, end of story. But the majority are caring although they will never let anything slip, which they don't agree with, and that has come to be understood among the longer term members. I have not always been happy with things lately. Some truly appalling behavior has been allowed to go unmoderated. I remain a member for now in the hope that sanity will prevail. I think Helen and Betty have been going through their own changes lately and have perhaps become somewhat distracted.
Chloe
I am sure you are getting a lot of e-mails and complements of your store on ABC Prime Time. Many including myself truly admire your courage and determination. I wish you the best to you and your family. I am a member of Pink Essence and thank for the website as it has helped me very much in connecting with other TG sisters
Many Hugs
Diana Renee Baker
Chloe,
I know that you don't know me from Eve, but you are on my friends list. I also am sure you are getting zillions of e-mails, so add this to the pile. I just wanted to
say how impressed I was, with you and your wife on the ABC Special. It had to be very difficult to open your lives in such a public way. But you did it with such honesty, dignity,courage, that I am sure you have given hope to many and understanding to many more. Being a Buckeye myself, I know it doesn't get any more mainstream than Ohio. You all came across as such, real and mainstream folks, I am sure you really connected. I have to saw it was really difficult to watch, because you gave such a balanced picture of how much loss is involved. What I really want to say is that , in my opinion, you all did a very good thing. Thanks. You turned your difficulties into understand and hope for others. You are an honor to the TG/TS community and you are all, an honor to the State of Ohio. I send you all my best, and hope we can meet at some point. My sincere best wishes to you and yours.
Carolyn
Chloe I just finished watching Family Secrets. I laughed, I cried, BUT most of all, I understand. Yes, we truly are one. Hugs Your Friend Always, Jen
WOW that took guts, my hats off to you & family! Thanks!!! Teresa
Hi Chloe, I just want to say it's indeed an honor to meet you. I didn't get to see the whole special about you and your wonderful family but what little I did see, I thought it was very well put together. I hope I'll get to see the whole story soon someday. When I seen PinkEssence, I just had to join. Everybody is so friendly and helpful. Thank you for the warm welcome.
Sincerely,
Gwendolyn
10 for the boss lady! woo hoo
Thanks Chloe, I have joined several groups in the past. I joined PinkEssence because after seeing your special, I noticed that we had a lot of parallels in our histories. I am married, have a child of my own, a spouse that accepts but struggles, and I don't want to let her go. I do want to experience the joys of true womanhood, and included in that, is being with a man. I do struggle with seeing my life without her though. The one advantage that I have is that my partner (her word, not mine), is that she does embrace my femininity. In fact she even introduces me as her partner. She does allow for me to celebrate Mothers day (we don't celebrate fathers day, outside of a simple card). Well, without getting too in depth, thanks, and I hope to hear more from you...
I know you ae probably getting a ton of emails. I just wanted to weigh in and tell you that I see a good person in you. You are pretty...and example to others like us. You do not have the snob aire about you. awesome!!
You do not know me from eve...but your show last night aligned with my life in so many ways. I wish however that I could save my marriage. I guess I envy you there. LOL
I hope you get the sleep you need and please travel safe.
Corina
Hi Chloe!
I sent you a quick note right after the ABC special had aired. The note I sent to you via PinkEssence is below...
I realize just what a whirlwind it has been for you since the ABC special, as you were traveling back from Thailand and I am sure overwhelmed by e-mails! I am not expecting a response but just had to once again commend you on your courage, sensitivity and honesty that you have shared with everyone! You are an amazing and caring person and simply a beautiful woman both inside and out! Thanks for being such a positive role model and inspiration to all of us t-girls...I was touched and encouraged by this special! Telling you how amazing you are seems to not be remotely descriptive enough to describe you as a person and friend!...so wonderfully incredible!
Thanks sooooo much...and I hope to chat with you sometime in the future!
You have touched my heart and my soul...and that, I thank you for so deeply!
Much Luck and Love for the future as you deserve nothing but the best!
Hugs and Kisses
Samantha VC 504
Sent 7/22 via Pink Essence:
Hi Chloe!
You are simply an amazing woman! I saw only half of the ABC Primetime special on you and your family as my daughter needed me so I could not finish watching. I hope I will be able to see it posted somewhere else so I can watch the whole show.
But with this being said, you are just an incredible woman. Your strength, courage and perspective was so enlightening. And as a t-girl, it obviously holds a special place for me to see your story but for anyone else watching it gave others the information and perspective about girls like us that have such feelings too. You have most definitely opened many others minds and hearts with you honesty and sensitivity. Words cannot express how you made me feel as I watched your interviews and saw your wife and children. You have such a wonderful perspective on life and gender identity that I am honored to call you my Sister here and on other sites like Vanity Club too.
You have made me feel so good inside knowing that I can do what I think is right about my gender issues and know that I am not alone and have others blazing a trail for me no matter what path I choose! You showed such compassion towards your wife and children throughout your whole process towards SRS and I applaud you and have such a great admiration and respect and love for who you are! You have touched me like no other...thanks!
I know you have undoubtedly received hundreds of e-mails by now but I just wanted you to know how much you have touched my soul and my heart! You are amazing!
Big Kisses and Warm Embracing Hugs...
Samantha
Thanks for clearing everything up, Chloe. I never doubted your xxy story. You looked fab on TV.
Calie xxx
Congratulations on the ABC piece-- your decision to be open about your
situation and family will help bring a lot of understanding and hope
for others. Thanks for being willing to put yourself out there like
that.
Your story was very interesting
i totally understand how you feel about certain things
like how you're still sexually attracted to females even though you are one now, i think that's a part that prolly made a lot of people really confused, for most hetero people, sex is just all about penis-in-vagina, and since you have a vagina now, everyone expects you to get penetrated by males now, and you weren't interested in that, and i totally understand where you were coming from.
Im Steph. cuz. well Im married to her cuz. I watched ur show on primetime It was very nice Steph. call me an told me to make sure we watched it ur children are adorable!!
I have tremendous respect for what you've done and are doing. I also want you to know that most of us are awed by your courage in being so open about your transition on ABC. Thank you for that. You are truly an inspiration.
Hi Chloe, again I would like to say how impressed I was with the you all in the special.
I have seen the national media turn things into a circus, for their own purposes.
Plainly that was not the case with you all.. My wife is a clinical psychologist
and a reluctant supported of Carolyn.So, TG issues are a common topic with us.
The truth is that I initially recorded it for her to watch,but did not have her watch it.
Again I found the pain and loss too overwhelming.I know she would have also.I
found the honestly, the courage and the dignity in which you all dealt with it
very impressive.Let me say again thanks for doing a very good thing.
Carolyn
Your fame has spread across the world honey (thanks to uploads to the net) ;-) Sure ABC didn't do everything right...but they did more than enough. It was powerful tv, sensitively done, and it did you, Renee and your children great credit. For every one who emailed to say that it helped them deal with the issue (like the one from a Dad you mention), there will be many others who have been helped to see a way through all this. x
I loved your special. It was, in general, well done. It so reminded me of my own journey years ago....bittersweet, but a journey we HAVE to make. Congrats to you, beautiful woman!
Dear Chloe.
I was so glad when I saw the episode about a trans person on ABC"s Primetime. I thought you did a very well documentation of yourself and your family.
Then I was told of your blogging and came here to investigate. I'm still bungling in the dark when it comes to computers. So bare with me if I don't navigate as well as some others.
I myself am in my 5th month on hormones. I still have to deal with my fears. I have a very large network of friends that see to my safety. They always tell me that no one will ever harm me when they are around.
I still fly under the radar most of the time. All of my clothing is female attire. I still have a few T shirts and my old work boots. But everything else is Josie wear. My old underwear makes nice dust clothes now.lol
I read some of your blogs and found some happiness in reading them. You spoke of the someday when nothing else matters anymore what you wear. That you now know you are a female 100%. I still have my battles with fear as I have been attacked in the past both verbally and physically. Luckily for me the physical never escalated to more then pushing due to my friends rescuing me.
I still fret and stew about the what if's. I'm going to be a brides maid in a friends wedding. I have told the couple to be that someone will try there best to doing something stupid at the wedding. But their not bothered in anyway by this. But I still remain fearful.
I guess I am just writing to say thank you for doing your blogs. As I have found some help by just reading them. I find you a very, very beautiful woman. And I wish you all the best in your future.
Sincerely
Ms. Josephine Pettinger.
Hi Chloe,
I'd like to commend your courage for going on national TV. I watched the program with my wife & son. We learned (especially my wife) a few things about relationships with TG spouses.
I have been married to this beautiful woman(GG) for 24 years & I have come out a few months back. She has known I am transgender our whole relationship but, now that I am transitioning, she is really struggling with "us". I guess I am asking you & Renee how you are doing & if things are becoming more comfortable for her. I apologize if this sounds personal but, do you feel she is relaxing & really enjoying intimacy? Or do you get the feeling she is just trying for you. I experience this at times but, am afraid my wife would be too embarrassed or polite to be honest with me & maybe herself. We are trying to be as candid as possible with our feelings. Sometimes I just feel she is trying to not hurt my feelings.
I understand you have been getting tons of emails but hope you get a chance to glance over this. I would feel honored to get a reply.
Thank you,admirably,
Lisa
I or anyone else could second guess what was or was not said, what made it to the final cut and what didn't.
I've addressed ABC's presentation of your story in a local TG support group with an understanding that ABC, not you controlled the final edit, they controlled the tone and sequencing.
The courage that Rene and you showed to allow a film crew to follow you for a year is incredible. Regardless of the reason. You did, you allowed, you displayed courage. I define courage not as the absence of fear, however the perseverance in the face of fear. I'm sure you were afraid at times. Afraid of how will this come off. Afraid of how it will be received by peers and allies and those who are neither. Afraid of how it will affect your family. No human being could not have those doubts. I can only imagine the reliance upon your faith that the truth and honesty would prevail.
I believe you do not owe me an explanation or apology for the 40 minutes which made it air. We owe you a debt of gratitude. Thank you and Rene for your courage.
Hi Chloe!
For heavens sakes Chloe, as I said to you over the web while you were in Thailand, you'll do just fine. Rene your wife seems like a very loving and caring women, and your boys seem to be doing great. To be frank, I think you trying so hard to explain what actually happened, all the hours of tape not used by ABC, or their spin on everything, even though it is your right to do so, is not necessary at all. I don't know you personally, but what I've seen and learned about you, and what your dear close, personal friends know for a fact, is that you are such a kind, loving woman. When you think about it, that is all what really matters.
Chloe, have a wonderful Wednesday, ok?
Sincerely,
Angelique'
you never cease to amaze me and my wife with your candor, honesty and integrity......
As I had attempted to warn in a blog proceeding the show, this program was going to be presented through the eyes of a producer.
And yes they love to leave us hanging with speculations and unanswered questions, how else would they be able spark interest in a sequal or follow up to a story (Not neccesarlily about you personally but similar subject matter).
Well it goes to show you how unevolved the ole "idiot box" (tv set) is, no matter how they package it B&W, technicolor or HD.
It adds 10pounds to everyone....
....so we never really ever get to see the "whole" story!
Thanks for the FAQ's Chloe..
I think you are amazing for doing this, and It was ABC and not Jerry Springer!! The media has the ability to cut and paste a story together, always looks for the edge. I am proud of you, and pray for you and all of us
I echo Andie's comments! Your blog has answered some questions! But, the story of the Prince family and how they have handled the situation is an inspiration for all of us!
Thanks so much Chloe and Renee for sharing this portion of your life with us. Also appreciate all of these clarifications.
Hugs
Kristi
Dear Chloe, I for one needed no explanation. I'm just proud to call you my friend.
Actually, I'm amazed that ABC got it as right as they did. Dealing with a beautiful transgender woman and her family had to take them completely out of their comfort zone.
Hugs girlfriend, Jennifer
Hi Chloe, saw the show on ABC, it must have taken a lot of courage for you and your spouse to allow them to follow you around all that time. Thank you for getting your message out.
Chloe, How surprised I was to see the promo for the special. I almost dropped my teeth when I saw that it was you. Watching the show after following you on 360 and our somewhat limited interaction, I felt like I was watching someone I knew. I thought you guys came off very well and that ABC put out a favorable story about the two of you. Having watched it 3 times (I recorded it) I was impressed with the two of you and what beautiful kids you guys have. I wish nothing but happiness for you and your family! God bless!
Dear Chloe,
Thank you, dear friend...and thank you too, Rene', and to the boys too(were they wonderful or what?!)! All of you will be favorably remembered for doing this program, for years to come, especially of course, in our community. As you probably well know, until very recently, practically all depictions, stories, etc. on television, about transgender folk have been slanted/skewed/biased(or worse) towards the negative aspects of our community, and rarely showed what it was like, such as with you and your family, to at least try to live a "normal" life "normal" family situation...so, I THANK YOU for ALL that you have done here for US!! And really, for the general population at large--because as you also well know, education is THE key, or at least it opens up the dialog. I couldn't be more proud of you if you were my own sister!!(HUGS) And, I guess in some ways, you are my sister...as are all of my precious girlfriends! Thank you, Chloe. Rene'..."Da Boys"...your father...and yes, even to ABC, despite the tape left off, they did do a wonderful job overall(and again, comparitively, etc....).
Love you much, dear girl. And sorry this took so long. Take care hon.
(HUGS)
Kelli
Hi Chloe,
I have just returned from a car trip with my 22 year old son. We are very close like you and your dad. He doesn't know that I am a crossdresser, so I didn't have much of an opportunity to check out the ABC piece on you and Rene.Well, I had some time to myself yesterday and I watched it online. I admire your bravery. It's not easy to transition and you shared your story with everyone! You're a beautiful woman with a beautiful heart. I wish you all the best.
Hugs,
Dee
Proud member of the Vanity Club
VC 482
Go Girl!!!
Keep the Faith and Share Your Smile!!!
Megan
VC #497
Bless you, Chloe!
Michelle
VC 517
Dear Chloe,
for starters I want you to know that I face quite a difficult feeling when getting involved with other’s perception, knowing mine differs. Mostly, since half of my responses come from the my knowledge and the other half from my personal experience. Such may be look as, skewing the facts/projection. Don’t think so, but...
I find your interview to be one of the best and most informative up to date. I sensed a deep level of honesty from you and family and yes, there may be things that can be nick picked and present a conflict as you point out in your blog. Frankly, I don’t see it that way, but as well I know it is virtually impossible to cover the Tgred issue in one hour segment. As well, I am familiar with how editing for TV purposes work and the effects of it. Again, I feel this is a great exponent of the human and emotional side of what we face. That’s a core part of connecting the dots to the average mainstream thinker. Of course, there is more, etc but overall this documentary didn’t exploit anything and that is good news.
In regards of the opinions: from TG people or mainstream, the shade that covers the TG issue still is there and even among us, TGs, there is myth, there is stereotype, there is fallacy and I believe it is not unfair to say: not many have what it takes to fully endeavor the whole process, even if they will remain as they were born. A lot of mechanisms of defense at work make this task so delicate and prone to unbalance. However, people like yourself seed an important aspect of the truth and that is the starting point to arrive to better understanding, perhaps support.
The irony of all this is that we don’t really know each other, unless after nurturing a close and personal friendship. I don’t know where you are and how much you’re in touch with what there is. Nevertheless, the sole fact of your process, where you’re, where you come from and heading, gives me a pretty darn idea. My reason to reply to you. I say that because in my no so old past I’ve suffered the syndromes of being who I am and that has been an added and unnecessary pain to my experience and I’ve learned that at least for me, it is much better to remove myself from those situations and go on with my life and at times perhaps getting involved with the true advocate efforts. As I said to you via phone: At times I can appreciate why many sisters became stealth. Although I feel that been a no so good choice, it removes some extra pain from our experience. Yet, I refuse to give my back to the truth and our sisters that "have some extra juice" and generously contribute to better off our realm.
I know it is impossible to remove the stigmas associated with our endeavors. Such is a fact of life, but we, TGs have an extra "issue" to deal with and if our goal is to attain as much of the truth and become fully grounded, we’ll face a few extra ones and that takes some precious time off our own and personal life and for the sake of others.
Last, I am impressed by the level of investment you’ve dedicated to our realm {interview, website, blog, etc}. From time to time I wonder where such energy comes from, but that’s me and by any means I invalidate your efforts. It is no more than curiosity and at the same time I wish you efforts will deliver your dreams and desires. I truly believe you deserve as many gains there are.
Receive a strong and loving hug from me.
Isis
PS: as you may know, it is impossible to address everything in one page as well.
Dear Chloe -- What a beautiful story!!! I'm so happy how ABC handled the entire situation. You have a lovely family, and I cried watching the boys...they are so cute...I guess I'm a softy. Congratulations and may your journey continue with only a few downs, but a multitude of ups. Love, CC
Carollyn Faith Olson
Post Mistress and Proud Member of the Vanity Club (#435)
Founder of the Mature Woman Group
I’ve held off commenting on Chloe’s ABC Television special, Family Secrets so I could spend time thinking about what I saw. I recorded the program and even put a lock on it so it wouldn’t be erased.
I think we will look back on “When Dad Becomes a Woman” as a seminal moment in the emergence of the transgendered as a legitimate element of our culture. Up to this point, with a few exceptions, we have been marginalized as the titillations of the Jerry Springer crowd or the mentally diseased in need of a psychiatric cure. Chloe and Juju changed all that. The world can never go back. Each of us now knows a transgendered woman as a real and beautiful human being.
Chloe Prince is a great actor. The camera loves her and, after all, she successfully played Ted for 32 years. We only saw still pictures of Ted but he was certainly a handsome guy. Knowing Chloe she certainly put a lot of her own outgoing personality into playing Ted. She played him so well that Rene fell in love with him.
Actors get to immerse themselves playing character roles but at the end if the day they also go back to being themselves. Chloe, as with so many of us, became trapped playing Ted. It became a prison for her. Others knew her only in that role, a role others would have her play for the rest of her life. Knowing that was not her and having experienced the joy of being herself it becomes so hard if not impossible to put the Genie back in the box. Don’t we know.
We got to see the real Chloe. She is a beautiful, loving, caring, friendly, confident and may I say voluptuous woman. Why would she want to be anyone else but herself. I’m so glad she put herself in front of the camera and let it roll. I want to give her the biggest hug she ever got for doing this. I also want to give Juju and the producers of ABC Prime Time a big hug for their sensitive treatment of Chloe and her family.
Becoming a woman isn’t cheap. It has cost Chloe plenty. And while she was doing it she had the compassion for her sisters (and brothers) to start a website we could better identify with. Right at the end of the program Juju mentioned that Chloe was again in Thailand getting a tune up. As we all know she was also there in support of several of her closest transgendered friends who were taking the surgical steps to complete their womanhood.
I would like to suggest that each of us owes Chloe a thank you for all she has done. I’m sure a donation of whatever we can each afford would be appreciated.
Hugs around, Jennifer
I met Chloe at SCC '07, although... we never had the opportunity to really get to know each other. However, I had the pleasure of having a long telephone conversation with her no long ago. Yet, through this documentary, I realize I didn't really know her. She's way deeper that what I was able to see then.
I am grateful to the producer and anchor woman that created this documentary. I find it unbiased, to the point, it doesn’t exploit anything and presents a truly human point of view. One that is more informative than formative. Chapeau to them and to Chloe and family.
Watching Chloe, her spouse and kids had been an extremely moving experience for me. I can empathize with her so deeply although I've not done the trip to the surgeon yet.
I felt Chloe's courage, doubts, concern and at some point anxiety about changing what she needed to honor herself at the cost of so much. Her uncanny honesty achieved most of her desires in regards of her beloved ones and I see that the outcome actually, although difficult and painful, it is very positive.
I feel her sharing presents one of the most positive roles a transsexual woman can deliver. I loved her way of presenting her case as an issue about life instead of lack of congruence or preferences. Chloe never presented herself as a victim of nature and instead she made herself look like a champ about life.
I am so very proud of you Chloe and I have no doubts that you will be able to achieve just about any other dreams you may have. Thank you for sharing your story to the world.
Dear Chloe,
I watched the show last night and wanted to reach out and hug you, and each and every member of your family. We cannot know all that you are going through, even with such a well told documentary. We can only offer you our support and love.
Good luck to you, your beautiful wife, and those two awesome boys. Give them all hugs from me, and my wife.
Best Regards,
Amanda Richards
Hi Chloe,
I would like to say, Bravo, Kudos's, and Congratulations to you and your Beautiful Family!
and Thank Both you and Renee and giving a insight to what family life is like for you all, and most importantly one that involves a Transgender Spouse, Father, Husband, a true Parent! and the trials of lives in your family unit.
I would like the focus this e-mail mainly on the part of you being a family person, you are the first I have have seen that has made a big step forward and showing the life of a Post Op Transgender Woman.
The focus of the show at least what I took away from it was being that of a close net oriented family person, something I can relate to. My Spouse and I both watch this show, and the first thing she said to me is that going to be you in a few years, I said only that this story of Chloe, Renee and their two young Son's, and showing that these people do exist, have family issues, and continue to try and make good out of what ever bit of life they have, I could not really say that I may take a similar leap and travel down that path? but I did say that this is showing another side of a family that I don't believe we as a society have seen.
There have been some very short stories on Discovery that I have tuned into over the years, specials on TLC and one I have seen on Tyra Banks last year, but yours is the first that has gone in a little deeper and given more insight of a family life with a Post Operative Transgender Woman.
I was amazed at your story, and even became teary eyed over the interviews with Renee, Your Father, and You, How hard it must be to be you all and you still strive forward to make life a better place in your World.
I applaud you in being able to keep up with the live web cast on PE last night, I just tuned in, but with so much typing traffic I did not feel I should be jumping in and cluttering up the chatter.
Anyway with what I tuned into, you handled questions very well! showing a "true leader" too bad that there will always be some one trying to be such a pessimist and show so much negativity, such as the case with a few people last night trying to cut you down, thinking they know all about you, impossible for them to know, but you handled the questions very well.
Well I don't want to become long winded and I am sure you have been going through e-mail overload since last night
Take care and have a safe trip home!
Wow Chloe.
Just wow!
I admire your courage and your honesty. Your family is awesome!
Like many others , I'm sure...I see a lot of myself in your story.
I wish you a safe, healthy and happy journey....difficult though it
may be. Be proud of who you are!
:)
Hugs and best wishes!
Kyrie
VC422
What a wonderful, sensitive, honest and well reported piece Primetime had on our dear Chloe. I don't know if she'll ever get around to reading all the mail she will get as a result of that show but here's my personal message to our sister.
I was so proud of you, Chloe, for putting that out there on national television. You and your family bared your souls to the nation and in so doing you raised the public perception of us all immeasurably. I wanted to get dressed up and go out in the street and shout "That's my sister!"
I hope your journey continues and gets easier and easier. You deserve so much. You're a brave and wonderful woman. I'm proud to call you sister and friend.
Lisa Harris
VC480
Thanks and kudos to you Chloe for putting your self out there for all to see in about as positive news piece as I've seen by a major network yet. So proud that you're also a member of this sorority as well. Kudos to your lovely wife and fine young boys, wishing you and them as smooth sailing as is possible. There is certainly no lack of intelligent effort on anyone of your parts.
Has the subject of a Vanity Auxiliary for the spouses/s.o's./life mates (whatever their gender or classification might be) of our members ever been talked about before. There might be some benefit for them to have a private space where they could commiserate and lend support to each other. Might also open up a Pandora's Box of issues and that's why there isn't already one perhaps... Just talking out loud I guess.
Cheers,
Linda
Hi Chloe,
Wow, kudos to you and your family for opening your skins and allowing everyone and their dog to see inside.
I like to think that I am strong, but I doubt that I could have done that. However there is a great difference in our situations, my life is more about living the life of any other woman. Some may judge me as cowardly for not openly embracing the "T". However with my serving as a care giver for an aging mother I believe it is more humane for her to not have to face the questions or the scorn that the nonacceptance of society often elicits.
Thanks and best wishes in all you do!
Joanne Maureen Bennett
VC#0238, VC President, 2003 - 2004
Chloe,
Thank you and your family for putting your own personal lives under national scrutiny so that so may cisgender folk could learn and transgender folk and their family circles could identify with so much all of you and your family are going through.
I saw so much of myself in your story and so much of my S.O. in your wife. My wife felt the same. My teenage daughter chose not to watch the show much to my regret but I just recently came out to her so she is rebelling against and denying much of what my future journey must be. However I think seeing this show and witnessing the ever changing dynamic in another couple really helped my wife feel she is not alone out there and somehow helped me cope with my own guilt better than any session with my therapist could.
I wish you and your family the best in the future.
regards and many thanks
Janine Laurent
VC 395
What a great job by all concerned. Chloe, your story is very touching and the reporter and producer did a very good job of telling. Presentations like this go a long way in letting people see us as real human beings and not Jerry Springer acts. I wish you and your family all the best in your journey.
Jennifer Williams
VC483
Chloe,
I had a tear in one eye and a gleam in the other...
The story was so touching and I sincerely hope that America saw it the way I did...
As a sister you made us so proud, to get out front and center with your story...
It was so touchy yet real... Isn't that what's life about???
Remember to share that smile with your family, they are awesome!!!
Megan
Hi Chloe,
I don't even have enough words to tell you how touching your story was on ABC. I know everyone that is transgendered feels a certain connection with you and your story that only we can understand but I also believe that it was presented in a way that even those that don't understand what being transgendered is like came away from it with a better appreciation of how difficult and courageous it is to finally come to terms with who you are and to finally take the steps to allow the soul and the body to finally match. You continue to be an inspiration to myself and many others. Thanks for sharing a little bit of you life with us and for showing us that even though it is difficult- happiness can be achieved.
Sincerely,
Khloe
hi chloe
i have just seen the story on you on 60 minutes down here in australia. after seeing it i was in tears .you and you wife are so couragous in filming that documentary. i dont know if it was the full version as it was only 15 minutes long but i really understood you. i started the transition path 10 months ago and im going through simmilar anguish with my family. seeing this story and also what i have read in your blogs you are an inspiration to me and i guess hundreds of other girls out there who are either going through or unsure about transitioning. i just hope that some day in the future i can be as beautiful and insirational as you.
Dear Chloe,I watched you and Rene on 60 mins, Marie and I are a family like yours,we have 6 children,we are still together.Rene touched me because I have felt alone in my feelings for Marie and her changes but also in my endeavor to keep our family together.You helped Marie understand better that what I feel is very real.I thank you for having the courage to open yourself to the world.Hugs Penny.
Hi Chloe, Lana told me about you, I left Chonburi about the week you came over, just saw your Story on our(Australia Ch 9) 60 Mins program. I thought it was good.
You look so much like my friend Margot - you must be sisters.
Your recent ABC show has caused some controversy amongst my friends but I have to admit I understood every word you and Rene said.
My wife is also still by my side and most TS folks think I am so lucky but I know you understand when I say that we have to bear the guilt for both of us, and life is not always as rosy as others think.
I hope I can add you as a friend.
Love & Hugs ~~Claire.
We watch the show last night. It was so amazing and enlightening. What you've gone thru is inspiring. You are opening closed minds, and THAT is an amazing feat. Kudos, Johnikki
Chloe, hi I saw you on 60 minutes and thought "wow, what a great story." After doing a little bit more research on you on line, I saw I live at most, 30 mins from you! I live in North Canton. I found myself wondering, "huh, I wonder...r if I've ever seen her". Just thought I'd say hi and I loved the show! Erin
I was very touch by your story that was aired last evening. You are a very couregous woman. Good luck to you and your family
I'm from the area- and saw your story on ABC last night. You are an inspiration, and wonderful role model for your children!
Sarah Motts
East Canton, OH.
I enjoyed watching 60mins last night Chloe, our boys were very attentive and so much wanted to see another family like ours
I watched your story and was quite taken. I too am a trans woman, married (2nd) but have a different take on the path of transition . I though the show was honest and sincere. And you look amazing. Love the hair
Ms. Prince, I saw your, ABC special and was touched by your and your family's courage. Thank you for being brave for all those who can't, themselves, find the strength to do so.
Aloha, from Hawaii, Alonzo
Hi Chloe,
I saw you on ABC with my daughter and my ex. We didn't know that ABC was featuring you and your gender transition and your family until a commercial came on about it 5 min before hand. It's help me to explain to my ex and my daughter whats going on within me. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
I hoping that I will have the operation soon myself.
Take care,
Wendy
Dear Chloe
You were awesome last night on Primetime Live. Thanks for being so genuine and real about being a MTF transsexual.
xoxo
Danielle Walker.
Hi Chloe, I saw your story on ABC tonight and I'm so proud and happy for you. You're a beautiful woman. I too and going through a transition and would love to be friends with you.
Hi Chloe! We briefly met at the NCTE lobby day and you know my sister, Sara. I wanted to say congratulations on the ABC special. Hopefully I can watch it soon, I'm still holding over to switching to digital TV.
TTYL
~Aime.
Just saw you on TV. You should be proud of yourself. We seem to be living the same life. except I am many steps behind you. Not in transition yet!
Hi Chloe and thanx for adding me as a friend my partner and I Helen watched your documentary a few weeks ago with my son it moved us both and it really helped my son loads thank you. Hope you don't mind if we join your site it looks great?? xx Felix :)
Hi there Goddess Chloe,yes much of the Australian 60 mins,did chop your story,HOWEVER it was an excellent report that I felt was very positive.It was especially healing for our children and myself.Families like ours take courage ,strength and love,it... isn't easy,but there are more positives to the negatives.Families come in all shapes and sizes and I personally think as the world becomes more accepting more families like ours will stay together and be strong enough to show the world that Love knows no gender or Boundaries.
G'day Chloe,
Your Documentary showed on Australia's 60 Minutes tonight.
I hope is all well with you and your surgery and revisions went well. I too am a Suporn Graduate. I was there January 2007 FFS & SRS, SRS minor Revisions Feb 2008, and BA 2009.
The lovely people there are brilliant and caring and I miss them very much as I am sure you do. Aey, Gib, Cin, Mrs Suporn, Lovely Danny the driver and so on.
I was heartened by your predicament with you and your lovely wife. I was in a similar situation, though no children, but the loss your partner feels is hard for the both of you.
I was fortunate that my partner found love in a man (something that she thought she had found, but was sort of deceived but not on purpose ), her finding someone allowed her and I to remain great Friends.. and me to feel less guiltily to what i had done to her life.
Now I still love her, but well as a great Friend. We both released how different it is to be with partners who are me.. they certainly are a quite different.. in good and and ways.
I am off in October to visit the lovely Friends I had made in the many many weeks and stays I had in Chonburi over those 3 years, It's amazing to meet the diverse range of amazing people from all over the globe.
I enjoyed the Primetime show about you. Thanks for sharing your story. It is so nice to see a transgendered woman shown in a positive light.
Your ABC special was a way for you to do what you can do to help. It was one of the most respectful pieces I have seen on television. I'm proud of you for your strength, a...s well as the strength of your family. I hope that life treats you well.
My girlfriend cried when she saw your ABC special because so much of what you have been through she has seen Me experience, as well (even though we travel opposite sides of the transsexual highway, it's still the same road)....Your honesty and openness is exactly what we need as a community...the opportunity to educate people....Ignorance is our enemy....I wish you the very best. Hugs, **Trey**
Hi Chloe Ty for adding me...Just want u to know I saw ur Abc special hon and i wish u the best in ur new life... Keep smiling things will only get better!!! tk care xo
I enjoyed your special. My wife's situation s very similar to your. I have also been active on the "Pink Essence" site and have particularly enjoyed the chat room. You are an inspiration. Big Huggies.
Saw GMA! Sending some love! I was the guy that told you a year back that I named my daughter Chloe! Wish you all the best!
I saw your story and found it to be incredibly courageous, poignant and encouraging. Thanks for sharing it with us. You look beautiful by the way, very feminine and pretty - but most of all you look happy! Take Care Love Giselle Latta x.
Hi Chloe,
Since your showed aired on 60 minutes in Australia, I have had calls from a few of my clients, firstly expressing a feeling of relief for their feelings and of course a natural affinity to you and your journey. I have just sent out my newsletter and in it I highlighted a couple of remarks you make (I will forward my newsletter if you would like) I also gave them a link to the transcript.
Generally the comments have been from the wives expressing concern that their husbands are going to undertake a similar path. I discussed it with my husband and he felt that the view towards Renee was that she was the victim, so he felt it was a little one sided. I guess he would have a more objective view than most as he is very supportive of my work in the TG community and understands the heartbreak and sadness that they go through.
I have so much respect for those girls stepping up and your words were so true that you never transition by yourself. I also had a conversation about the children of transgender women and my opinion is that your children will grow up well adjusted knowing that the highest value that anyone can have is truth. I admire your courage and dignity and what you have done for the TG community. I also think the more it is publicly talked about the better and people will be educated that the value is in the person regardless of the gender they identify. Having a story like yours Chloe is dispels the myth that being transgendered is about a sexual fantasy and something you do by choice.
I will keep you informed of any feedback that I receive.
Thanks,
Julie Davis
Supportive Ally of the Transgendered Community
Hi Chloe,
I'm Paula, also an XXY transgender person from Brisbane in Australia.
My partner Kim and I (whom I was in a relationship with before I
transitioned) found your story, shown down here on 60 minutes,
incredibly helpful.
We have chosen to stay in our relationship after a great deal of
turmoil for better or for worse. In fact, Kim who just 6 months ago
brazenly announced she would never be a lesbian, now proudly announces
to people she is and how proud of me she is. She said to a shopkeeper
the other day 'we'll be the crazy old lesbians who live on that hill
someday.'
Honey, I know full well I will be one of thousands of people who
congratulate you on bringing stories like ours to the masses, and who
thank you so much for being a very public voice.
This has been such a roller coaster ride for both Kim and I. Her
family and our friends very thankfully accept me wholeheartedly, given
I was a very girly male and didn't really pass as a boy very well. My
family are divided, and I lost my job over transitioning.
I have to admit that I've read your blog for about the past year, and
it really has reflected a great many of my feelings and helped me in
those dark times we have.
Thank you for being such a brave girl.
Much love and happy thoughts,
Paula.
I re watched the ABC program featuring Chloe and her gorgeous family. I read what she said about editing, then on Sunday evening I watched Australian ' 60 Minutes' edited version of 20 minutes duration.
I haven't, after all of that, changed my view of how Chloe projected on the show and I would like Chloe to know that I am very proud to be her friend.She has a dignity as a woman and a person, that we all should aspire to.
It's a big word....... DIGNITY.
ABC and 60 Minutes treated this subject with respect, they didn't sensationalize to the extent they can be known to.They showed the trials, the tests, the massive adjustments families go through in their own ' transition' and still Chloe's dignity shone through.
The producers could have been kinder, edited differently,and could also have condemned. They didn't, to their credit, and we in the TS Community will have just that little bit more understanding in this world.
Love isn't blind, it's in the heart.
From my heart, thank you Chloe.
Rachel in Aus.
Hi Chloe,
It's 8.30pm on Sunday night in West Australia and 60 Minutes has just shown their mailbag for last week. The letters they showed were all positive which probably means the producers saw you in a positive light and featured those letters as a result. Congratulations.
Another giant leap for womankind. Thank-you for bearing your all. I couldn't have but we all do it in our own way.
Leece Johnson, an Aussie friend and a PE member taped the show and will get a copy as soon as.
Love and wishes
Rachel
Whatever you want to call it, I'm very happy and relieved to hear that you and Rene are actually intimate after all. That is important in any marriage. Good for you both for sharing your story and for forging on in uncharted territory. Best wishes.
After watching Family Secrets last night I was quite happy that ABC did not turn Chloe's story into a circus. It was perhaps the least sensationalized story of this type I have ever seen on national TV.
Chloe has been saying all along that the show is not so much about transgender, but rather a personal interest story, her story. I think to a large degree many of us lost sight of that, myself included. All we saw was a transgendered person willing to let the world see their story.
All of us heading down the road to total change feel we do not have a choice, and in fact emotionally and mentally, most of us don't. Nevertheless, within some level of control most of us do at least have a choice of when to start each phase of our transition, we get to set the time line.
Until last night, I did not clearly understand that Chloe did not have that choice.
Her body chemistry made that choice for her, and under the circumstances I think she handled it very well, especially the family aspects. Think about it, how well would any of us deal with coming out if we had little if any control over the time line in our transformation?
Chloe's show was about Chloe, I absolutely get that now.
While I hope, like many of us, the show educated some of the masses as to the plight of all transgendered, how all we want is to be seen as regular people, I think the show perhaps educated many of us as well.
One could not help but feel the agony Chloe's spouse, her father, and to a lesser degree her children, were having over all of this. The children if anything, are taking it all well. If they have any issues, it is due to the ignorance of some of the parents of their friends. We can all learn a lot from kids IMHO.
However again, I think the educational part of Chloe's story is more for the rest of us than the rest of society. Chloe's story may change some of society's nay sayers, when it comes to transgender, but I think all of us can, or should, try to take something away from her story other than "wow, she told the world about her sex change". Chloe's journey took all of us along, so lets try and see it for more than the obvious.
Chloe is brave not so much for telling her story, but for her story, how she dealt with something that she genuinely had no real choice in.
Robin Christina Marks
I had a chance to periodically stop in at the webcast, and try to catch up on what was being discussed, while doing "homework". (As you can appreciate, coming into the middle of any conversation can result in things being taken out of context.)
There is so very much to be learned by ALL of humanity from this situation! I hope that ALL of us gain insights. As the wife and I watched the entire show, including Renee's secret, we cried, we empathized, and we realized many things. She didn't watch the webcast, so I can't comment on her feelings on that.
But, I realized that the path I have chosen is the correct one for this point in our lives!
To Chloe and her family, I cannot find the proper words to express my feelings, my sorrow, my joy, and my compassion. Other than to say it in the way that I choose:
May the Love and Guiding Hand of God be with you and your entire family. May you each find His Peace that is beyond all understanding, and be Guided to the best life that you can find!
To the staff at ABC who made this possible, I extend the greatest of tributes and accolades for your fair and unbiased reporting!
Chloe's story, was a good release, for Australia as well as me. It has certainly raised awareness and understanding in my community and more especially with my sister, who has struggled with my transition, over the last few years.
Thanks to Chloe and people like her who put themselves "out there" at their own peril, the rest of us benefit from the increased public awareness. And I agree with you that she has shown much grace under fire when sadly, a large portion of our own community turned against her. Her fortitude and resolve is to be admired. Truly she is a lady of class.
I'd like to propose a toast... to my dear friend Chloe who's style and grace is unmatched...
May her courage and creativity remain a beacon of inspiration as she continues to touch hearts and minds in a positive way, and may her spirit forever shine as bright!
Chloe certainly was a Trail-Blazer carrying a lot more baggage and years into her story. We are certainly so appreciative for what Chloe has done for us in the Public Eye.
I am absolutely euphoric, as opposed to disphoric. It is Sunday night in the land of Oz, 8.30 pm and 60 Minutes has just concluded. Only a couple of weeks after Chloe's story was aired, tonight they told the story of an 8 year old transgender girl called Jazz. What a delight she was and what a break through for TG/TS people. The walls are caving in people and we are being recognised, not for being an oddity but for the beautiful, caring and sharing people that we all are.
Chloe, you are so beautiful, I am so proud of what you have done, unselfishly, for so many others, to expose your self to the world, enduring the putdowns, the ridicule, and then to retain your hold on your self esteem makes you special. This is an oft abused phrase, you most certainly can claim the title that so many people apply to us.'SPECIAL'. How often have you been told, as I have," Your so brave to do this". No I'm not, I wouldn't have the guts to endure what you have Chloe....... You are the one who is brave.
You are special.
I would love for this gorgeous 8 year old to have access to PinkEssence to enhance her knowledge of life as a TG girl, she was so balanced, with an unbelievably supportive family.If you have seen this show in the US, I'm sure you were as excited as I am to see mainstream TV approach this subject so positively.
I am so bloody happy.
Love to you all,
Rachel in Aus.
Last week ABC News did a Prime time feature on the life and transition of one of my friends Chloe Prince. I will admit it was pretty cool to see someone I have known fairly well for years in my community on prime time television. I have spent time talking with her wife and with her adorable children. I have sat many times in the house where most of the interviews were filmed. I thought overall it was a good program although I know from talking with Chloe afterward that there were many hours of footage that ended up on the cutting room floor and there were several things which could have been documented because they were done so but not included by ABC in the program. The program showed some of the points and issues raised by Chloe, her wife and even some by her children. The children may have understood what was going on better than most of the adults …… “she has a girl inside her that needs to get out”. Children often are more intelligent than we give them credit for and they see things easier and simpler than many adults do after years of life and all of its indoctrination. I know Chloe plans a blog on this topic and I hope everyone takes the time to view her work as she has a lot to say and is always worth the visit to her blogs! I know Chloe has received some flack as well as praise over the program from those within as well as outside the transgendered community. I know many people have weighed in with comments to her and at various sites hailing her as everything from a super hero to a dark villain.
There are always those they see things in the binary world where there must be a clear winner in any issue just as they always see things as black and white, male and female and are unable to see the world or any issue as having the grey areas which is vast in its nature. However, most people are not comfortable in that world and struggle with such concepts. To them, there must always be one side prevailing on an issue, there can only be one side of any controversy as they see it and any notion of any world in which gender is defined as female or male beyond the anatomical parts one is born with is not acceptable because to them it cannot exist. These are the same people who say that Chloe must be wrong and vilified for what she has done and therefore one must side with her spouse and children.
I understand the needs of her children- they are the same needs all children need- love and support as they make their way in this world. I have children myself and I know many others in my community with children of various ages- some older like me and others younger like Chloe’s. Her children need this love and support from their parents and they get it. So what if the parents now happen to be both women. I know many lesbian couples who have raised their own or adopted children just fine based on giving them love and support. So what is the big deal? I also understand her wife’s positions and feelings- they are pretty much the same as those expressed by my now ex-wife when I came out and transitioned to be who I was called to be as a person. I sympathize with these feelings and I realize the pain and embarrassment transition causes a spouse or loved one.
However, just because I understand the anguish, pain and frustration of the spouse does not mean I or any other person should condemn Chloe or myself or countless other transgendered people for deciding we could no longer live a life of lies and deceptions as to who we are and always have been in this life as people. Until society realizes that these decisions to come out and transition to be the person we have always been inside and make our outer shell fit our inner soul and essence is not a choice but a necessity actions such as those undertaken by Chloe in her life or thousands of us transgendered souls, there will always be condemnation of those of us with the courage to risk it all to come out and tell the world who we really are as people and transition our anatomy to fit that of the person we have always been in life.
(continued...)
(part 2, Continued)
Could the story presented on ABC been a better one? Yes of course it could have been. Maybe some things which were deleted should have been aired and maybe it could have been longer to show more depth and broader views and documentation. However, I felt no need after viewing it to chose sides or condemn anyone. I understand the views and needs of all the participants and realize there not always simple answers to complex issues. Likewise, I know the majority of the world cannot see things such way because there must be always these clearly defined concepts of right and wrong, black and white, male and female and everything else that is defined by the binary system that has held our society’s advancement back for generations!
Do I necessarily agree with everything Chloe stated or presented on the program? Again the answer is that I may have done or said things differently. That however does not make either of us right or wrong- just a little different as we all are in this world despite the binary concepts that hold us back in our thinking. I will say I was impressed with the statements made by her father. Could he have been better? Probably so- but I also know how he use to feel and I gave him all the credit in the world for being on the show and speaking his mind and I think his love for Chloe as parent was obvious- just as Chloe’s love was for her children who were fabulous in their presentations for sure. Again, the issues raised in this show, as with many other shows and books which have been produced in our community about transgendered people, are complex and full of lots of grey but most people cannot deal with that because it rocks their rigid binary world.
I understood the views expressed by all the participants of the program and thought they all did a pretty good job. There were no winners and losers and there is no need to take sides or be critical of anyone. I feel sorry for those that do because they continue to be plagued by the same binary thought patterns that define our society and inhibit its progress. I applaud those that did not take any sides but could see all the views and understand the complexities of the issues presented. I do want to say this as someone who knows Chloe and has spent considerable time with her over the years I am proud of you girl! You did good girl as did all the others in the show and I hope the program will serve to facilitate the need for society to get out of its binary thinking and see the complexity of issues and the field of grey that lies in between the absolutes our society thrives on- although to our detriment.
For those of you who have not seen the program you can go to the ABC site and watch the rebroadcast of the show…….hopefully with an open mind and the absence of the binary thinking!
Hi Chloe, I have seen you on the internet and your television interview... You have motivated me to begin to live as Jenni full-time... Stay Beautiful both inside and out!
Hey Chloe, i saw your primetime special and loved it! i'm also transsexual and have been in the process of coming out the last couple years....
Saw you on the telly in Australia a while ago, wanted to know if you're gonna blog any more???
Cheers
Dear Chloe my love,
I can say that, because you are my love, my spouse. I just want to tell you how proud I am of all your hard work. I'm sorry I wasn't there with you in Thailand, especially the first time. You would have loved a spouse that was truly on board with you. At that time, I was still struggling with it all. (I was working too and couldn't pull the kids out of school or leave behind.) I know you understand. Stay positive and we'll get through this life together as a couple and as a family.
I love you,
your spouse Rene
FIRST TIME I HAVE READ THIS CHLOE! IT AGAIN REINFORCES MY OPINION OF YOU, YOUR TASTES AND EDUCATION. I KNOW IT WAS HARD - HELL IT'S HARD FOR ALL OF US. IT'S THOSE LIKE YOU WHO HAVE THE COURAGE TO FOLLOW THEIR CONVICTIONS THAT SHED THE LIGHT WE SEE AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL ! I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU, AND THE TIMES WE HAVE ENJOYED. I THINK A GREAT DEAL OF YOU AND SOME OTHER GIRLS LIKE YOU WHO HAVE THE COURAGE OF THEIR CONVICTIONS.
GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK
Post a Comment