So Long, And THANKS for all the Fish

Over the past few days, I have been doing alot of reading on the subject of Community building in preparation to give one of the two works shops I am scheduled to do at First Event in Boston this week. The Workshop I am working on right now is "Community Building".
While doing my research, I decided to do a Google search of my name. Being "Out" and on TV along with founding PINKessence and journaling in my Blog "Pink Thoughts" has definitely put my name out there for better or worse. Without naming names - upon doing my search, my Profile came up towards the top on one of the largest exclusive Trans Social Networks / Hook-up sites.

Admittedly, I do not, nor have I ever used this site – but did have a profile there to guide others to find PINKessence and my Blog . However, many people have and do use this site, as it is the most well know and largest site for connecting Transgendered people (mostly to their Admires), or other wise. I know that alot of people have a special kinship to this site - so I want to make clear, that I am not condemning this site as bad place, nor posting this as a citation for others to follow. Its just that I have taken a personal issue and chosen not to participate for my own reasons. I feel sad to go, because, in many ways this site has served as the mothership for many of us as an invaluable resource. That is something to be commended on - not condemned.

I clicked on my profile, and the first thing you see is "She-Male" ads running along side my profile picture and various other references to Adult Material. Now, I am not a prude - just someone trying to protect my children and my image too. My son Logan now has a computer and supervised Internet access in our home and at school. I ask myself, what would my son think of me when he clicked on that link? What would my mother (who I KNOW searches the internet about me) think about that page? Would she be proud? Would she be closer to understanding who I am?

I "DO" believe there is a place for this type of material, whether it be for so called "SheMale" porn, or Tranny-Games... whatever your kink is... thats your business. But, that doesn't mean I will be a part of it and I am not going to allow my name and face to be used to promote such ads.

Here is the letter I wrote to the site in reference for removal of my profile.


--Snip--

Dear XXXX,

I am leaving because I do not like the fact that this site has Adult material on it. I am not saying this is wrong or right - only that I do not wish to be part of a site at this time, where, when someone Googles my name, they click on my XXXX profile and there's "SHEMALE SEX ADS" along side my pictures and profile.

I want to be clear that I do not have a personal problem with the owners of this site - infact, I respect them very much - however, I am making a personal choice that I believe is right for me. I have been on TV and promote my own site and I have children that are young. However, one day, their friends may look me up on the internet, and I want to be sure (as best I can) that I do not align myself with anything that is Adult X rated material or sends the wrong message about who I am or what I am.

It is because of this, that I have never participated on this site. I feel sadden to have to leave. But, the time is come that I do.

It is now time for our own community members to run OUR OWN sites and control our own media and image. Not outsiders who will use us to sell advertisement to make money and support their website revenue. There are other ways to make money - but not at the cost of others dignity.

I wish you continued success and leave you with this personal appeal - Please remove ALL ADULT CHAT AND references of derogatory terms and images that serve to harm our Transgender community, our families and the future of our potential to forge alliances and friendships that will come to empower our community and understanding.

Respectfully,
-Chloe Prince.

--Snip--


In the past, I have received similar requests, and I always take them very serious. I am reminded that each site has a goal. PE's goal stems from the vision I have for the bubble I wish to create and live in. XXXX is the Bubble for which they and their users chose to participate in. Neither is wrong - just different venues.

When I give my discussion at First Event about building a community, I hope to open peoples minds to these types of thoughts.

Our community needs more bridges than we do barriers - More examples rather than boundaries - More guidelines than strings tethering us to stereotypes of men in dresses.

Some feminists say PINKessence (and myself) are stereotypes also -AND- people have left PE because of it, or down right refused to participate. A while back many of you wrote personal appeals for me to send to a well know activist and voice in our community to Join PINKessence. Her response back to me was short, but to the point. "No. Thank you Chloe” and “ ...I’m an equal opportunity denier". [sic]

Others "mainstreamers" (but not all) have joined PE, and then left again. For a long time this confused me as to why. Now I understand. Because each person has a path they must not only choose, but also keep clear for their baggage behind them to follow along. Mine being my children's future at stake. For some extreme Feminists and spouses among our community, PE is often viewed as a jagged pill of stereo-types and I’m the mayor of Pantyville.

I guess to each their own. I realize now that not everyone is going to like me, PE or others that follow in my example. That’s fine. I am not keen on all the people that go around looking like a Sage or the white wizard of Lord of the Rings and call themselves a woman… but that’s my opinion. I enjoy being a girlie girl – and that’s not euphoria, its just my personality. To those feminists that label me a stereo-type “I'm sorry being myself, is a problem for you - but you bug the hell out of me (and many) too". And to those that think you’ve out grown PE because it hinders your path of being taken serious as a woman – peace be with you… So long, and thanks for all the fish.