Friday, August 27, 2010

Message in a Bottle, Answered

I was in the middle of a back alley ghetto, doing phone work.

For those that do not follow my blog usually, or my posts, I will add that I am a phone tech, and it is my job to go, well, everywhere and at all times of the day, and night. As a male, I never gave (as much?) thought to this, as I do now - which is considerable.

At first, I thought it was just my usual fears of the unknown - part of transitioning. But, My fears are crystallized when I go to my managers at work for anything, and they do nothing to accommodate me as a woman - where they would otherwise (and have) for other women.

I'm not saying I or women can't do this job - what I am saying is, that the dynamics have changed for which the elements around me need to be reconsidered. If a woman is to work alone at night in an ally, a manhole or down a dark lonely country road where a cell-tower needs repaired, they wouldn't for a second think twice about sending a partner or backup or even someone else that is better fit for the geographical location.

I have asked time and time again to be relocated or given a different position in this VAST enterprise, but yet, there has been NO ONE to offer me an accommodation to do so.

After you have surgery like GRS, FFS, it takes more than a few weeks, even months to get back to even 80%. Its been 2 years for me, and in that time, I also had a revision... so really, its only been 1 year since my last round of being under the knife. I am just now getting back to 90% where I used to be physically. Your body and abilities change after GRS. Hot flashes are horrible for some of us - I am one of those people who suffer from them and because I have Klinefelters, it is difficult to get a set regimen on my hormones to combat this constant fluctuation of endocrine. Would an air conditioned Van at work be to much to ask for - apparently, it is. That is, if it comes at the cost of taking it from someone with higher seniority.

For 11 years almost now, I have work outside in the elements - dealing with extreme conditions - no AC, no nuttin, but just sucking it up and doing it. That's just how it is...

Well, I can't do that anymore. I'm physically & mentally failing. I know this sounds like a cop out. Sorry. Each day, I am coming home, burnt out from the stress of trying to keep up where I just can't. I can't quit cause its all we have for money right now.

The good news is, someone whom works for AT&T sent a link to my Facebook post into AT&T's LGBT group, "LEAGUE". Someone from there contacted me today through our internal Email inquiring if they could help and that they had connections in the AT&T "Job Accommodations" department.

My response:

"...praise the lord."


Here is a copy of my Original Facebook Post:

I'd be lying if I said wasn't a little nervous right now. This is part of the job I fear - feeling vulnerable as a woman - I can't always go or do the same things I did as a guy, at least without the same sense of security I once had of not being raped, or worse. AT&T won't listen to my concerns... I've tried. I've expressed my personal problems with being in an unfriendly, unproductive and uncomfortable work environment as well as expressing my concerns of personal safety on the job. Today, I'm working alone in a back alley of a ghetto... Maybe it's all in my mind... But I get the feeling I've become the forbidden fruit. No one wants to help me and even strategizing an exit plan has fallen on def ears. I think their just waiting for the apple to fall from the tree :(

God please, rescue me.

42 comments:

  1. F that... Have you seen the blog "Redneck repairs"? Go get a window A/C unit for $99 at Wal-Mart some plywood, and fix you up a cozy cool comfort cantina in the van.

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  2. Wow Chloe. I am sorry that this is how work has turned out for you yet I hate to say it but I am not surprised. I hope you are able to get what you need to stay comfortable at work. It is a shame that people do not take into consideration the strength that one loses going through transition. Hell, I am tired after I get out of the shower in the morning. LOL. Good luck babe.

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  3. Hi Chloe!

    I just can't believe you're stuck in an ally like that, it seems so wrong. I'm glad that you may have found something to help by posting it on Facebook. It's kind of nice to have something come of such postings besides being able to vent and have caring people respond. *hugs*

    <3 Jerica

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  4. Chloe, feel the prayers I am saying for you. Our God will protect you.

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  5. ...it can be hard "just being me" ...

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  6. You have worked so very hard for the benefit of others, and are such an inspiration.

    Don't let the ******** grind you down! You are better and stronger than them.

    As Kristy says God will protect you, and my thoughts and prayers go out to you. xxx

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  7. After all you've walked through, a back alley is nothing to fear! Call on the universe to protect you as it always has, and maybe it's time to arm yourself with pepper spray. You're aware of your surroundings and that's the most important thing. Be brave! You're a hero to a lot of people!

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  8. Lifting up prayers. Remember "No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is a promise for those who trust in the Lord!

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  9. Nobody, male or female, should be working alone in the back alley of a ghetto. There should at least be two people working in such an area. And trans or not, you're an attractive woman. Isn't there a public utility board you can appeal to?

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  10. Keep your head up and your wits about you, and remember that you are doing a job. You are supposed to be there. Do not let the surroundings intimidate you. I'll be sending good energy your way.

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  11. Hey, I've lived in plenty of ghettos, Barrios. reservations, and other hostile enclaves. It's never a problem until two or three people take notice of you at once. then it gets damn dangerous. Keep an eye out and if a gathering commences get out quick. Otherwise you're just background noise and ghetto's are loaded with that

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  12. Oh honey, just keep that chin up, and take it as easy as you can. It's unfortunate that your company isn't supporting you by placing you in less dangerous situations. I interact with SO many Verizon techs all the time, and I certainly know they earn their wages, hands down. I mean, cripes, just the natural hazards (storms, BEES, pole work, spelunking??) are enough to be wary of the next time you open a cabinet/junction, or lift a manhole. Having to worry about what's behind you is unpleasant exponentially amplified.

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  13. oh my goodness girl. The back alley???? What is wrong with them? There has to be something that can be done to get you out of there, that's ridiculous!!!

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  14. LoriAnne's right! And since you're obviously working on something that the folks need and want, they're not gonna bother you.(Now if you was wearin' a po-po uniform, they might give you some dirty looks ...lol!) Neighborhood folks aren't all muggers and rapists, hun. They're just like the rest of us, with the same problems about money and property and kids, just with less resources to deal with. Just be attentive, polite and assured. Respect the people, they'll respect you and your work. :)

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  15. Chloe, My heart and prayers are with you dear, the angles are looking down on you all the time, the beautiful person you are. I fear that my self all the time also when I have to drive in bad parts of town.. It really scares me..... I am al...ways looking behind me and left and right, just so hard to get work done, when I get back in my place I feel better. I wast told this when I changed several years ago, just cant do the the same things as a guy now I am a woman the fear are total different, and yea we are more vulnerable..... and when I am in a EMS uniform people look at me different too.... No one should have to work alone in any of these conditions.. may be you can carry some protection devices with you while you are working .

    BIG HUGS ...... :):):)

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  16. Chloe, I believe the quantity and quality of these responses are a testament to your life and the character you have. You are a gift, and I am proud to call you a friend.

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  17. Crazy. I hope you at least get some company to at least make you feel at ease when you are working.

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  18. Trying to live a cys-gender life isn't all that much easier. Being a woman on the inside but not the out. I constantly live in fear that I will slip up and say something I shouldn't and suddenly - my school district will determine that I would "be disruptive to the educational process" and I will watch a 20 year career simply fade away. You have the courage that so many of us aspire to have - you changed your life - in order to show the world the true nature of your heart. Hang in there - Prayers are always with you.

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  19. If the company won't listen to you, speak loud enough that the world hears... Find a good journalist and share your story. Women have rights in the workplace to be safe and feel safe. That counts no matter what gender you started out as. In any other profession women are protected... You should be protected too... and above all else... stay safe and if you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, get out...

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  20. Chloe,

    You have to hold on you are very special person, I really know your feelings and pain what you are dealing with. I had the same feelings and still do all the time, I have a business I own and dealing with both personal issues and business it takes it total on me a lot, mentally and physically each and every day, some times I have so much stress, t drains me. I just can't do the as I did when I was a male many years ago....friends that know tell me all the time " you have been threw a lot in some many years and I am still holding on"

    I am hear for you Chloe ...

    Lots of Hugs Trisha

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  21. It is hard going from one physical gender to the other as far as personal security is concerned. I know that I am much more cognizant of rough situations now. Where I used to go without a second thought now scary me.

    Most of us know that HRT saps upper body strength. I'm betting it does the same for legs, too. So your fear and mine are probaly well founded.

    Have you considered this approach? If your doctor states that air conditioning should be used for a medical condition, under ADA that would probably be determined to be a reasonable request... especially since other staff have it in their vehicles. It may be that simple... then again that may trigger something you don't want to get into.

    The good part is that others have picked up your cause and they may lead the fight... We all wish you the best and hope that everything works out...

    Hugs, Caroline

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  22. I wish there was something people like me could do...as much as I need help it remains hard to find....We hired our first girl for in the field for installations. It has been a godsend and helps me to foresee the limitations I too may encounter physically in the future....I don't fully understand all the medical side effects... but for an employer to be non accomodating seems terribly out place in this day and time...My male side would love to see your manager in the gym for a few minutes would love to see how well he holds up....

    may you find the answers you need via that latest development...

    jamie

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  23. Look carefully at the picture I posted... you can see the sun damage from the condition my doctor calls "Pregnancy Mask" aka Hyper-pigmentation. Its from my estrogen. This happens when the levels are inconsistent, and your out in the sun a lot. The damage is permanent and will only continue to get worse. I can have it bleached, but if I remain out in the sun, it will come right back. Its a permanent scar I must endure as long as I need to make a living and have no other way to do so.

    I know there is MANY other Transpeople that are out of work – I know I shouldn’t complain – and I get that. But there is also another argument that you should not have to be subjected to inequitable treatment because you have been written off as “Fair Game”.

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  24. Interesting. Great pic, it speaks volumes to how you are feeling. Good luck.

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  25. Praise the Lord indeed, I sure hope this gets straightened out for you Chloe and it unfortunately shows many companies still put on a facade of support for trans issues and probably only do that much to avoid legal prosecution. I know somewhat of what you speak as I feel a vulnerability approaching older boys and men in certain settings where before I would not have given second thought. The hot flash thing I also went through with awful night sweats until my hormones leveled off: miserable.

    My prayers are with you sweetie.

    Hugs,
    Marsha

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  26. Hi Chloe, your requests aren't unreasonable. When I worked for ADT Security I had to go through some similar situations. I so don't miss those rainy, snowy cold nights, up on a swaying lift, trying to get a camera system working. And not having A/C and being stuck on the tollroad and it was 102, I hated all of it. I am glad someone ist going to go to bat with/for you. I will pray that it goes in your direction, I just don't understand why people think such basic things aren't necessary.

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  27. Thank you so much Chloe for sharing this. I feel so bad for you since you have worked so hard for this company and your immediate managers are so insensitive and do not understand. Please take care of yourself. I am so glad for this "Good News" and hope it all works out for you. You also worked so hard to improve yourself with your education and deserve so much more. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  28. Chloe, that is wonderful news! I hope this potential new job path without having to leave the actual company will be a godsend to you!

    My prayers def your way!

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  29. Chloe, the work accommodations you have asked for are not unreasonable. Even police have sent in backups to tough areas. Hang in there! You are an inspiration and also an illustration of the hidden issues for transgenders in the workplace. I call it unfinished business and there is still a lot of work yet to be done.

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  30. Chloe, I am very sorry at how your Employer's have treated you. I read the things you post & it is sad to see that they cant just treat you for who you are & not what you are or used to be. If it is dangerous because your female then they should treat you like all the others, they shouldn't have you out there suffering in extreme conditions when they wouldn't do that for other people. I hope this new door that has opened gets you what you deserve when you are working.

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  31. It is sad when those around us cannot accommodate the change we go through. Not sure what the answer is for you at work. I do hope things work out positively.

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  32. Chloe, hopefully, this person is the silver lining in the otherwise dark cloud at work.

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  33. Sorry; I forgot that League@NCR was formed when AT&T briefly bought out NCR. During my tenure at NCR, they were were very helpful during my transition. Then again, being the Dayton Chapter rep for League didn't hurt, either. I may have some contacts there if that would. help.

    Here is their web site: http://www.league-att.org/
    BTW, it was really nice meeting you in Columbus at the Trans Ohio conference! Looking forward to seeing your photos!

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  34. I had a heating & a/c issue with my company van, that lasted over a year. After constant complaints, both verbal & written about the issues with this vehicle. That went unanswered. I took it upon myself, to get estimates of the cost to repair the problems. Seeing I was the only one assigned to the vehicle. I picked it up on a Saturday morning, brought it to be repaired. And promptly on Monday morning, I brought the bill to the general manager. And was reimbursed the full cost of repairs..

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  35. Hi Chloe,
    Im in a position with my job that is almost like yours,only different,as they say. I'm not full time as you know,but even in my state (whatever that is) I get regular verbal abuse from the owner and several of the people who work here. Yesterday I was so verbally abused,I wanted to quit. I cant. I have been filling out all kinds of applications in places I never thought of working before. Nothing. Nothing back at all. I did find out from the JC Penny's computer I "..wasn't Penny material". I busted out laughing. We both have jobs,but at what expense? It has to end sometime.

    Just hang in, I'm trying, too also.

    Looking forward to a big hug at SCC!! Maybe we will get rooms on the same floor again. That was the best floor!!

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  36. Good luck Chloe - I hope the company that claimed to be "The Right Choice" will finally choose to do the the right thing!

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  37. Hi Chloe, This is a very painful ordeal and I'm sorry that you have to endure it. I know you have a lot of courage and you know that you have many many people here who love you and care! I'll say a prayer for you tonight and hope that relief from this burden is soon coming.
    Hugs, Sherri

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  38. To me it sounds like "Pure" abuse - People can be very -2- faced / I feel for you Chloe, and my thoughts are with you - I hope that your situation will turn a whole lot better real soon / Keep smilin Kid !!

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  39. Always watch your surroundings. Act crazy if a bad fellow come your way.

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  40. This is awful Chloe, I really hope this works out the way it should with your being treated more fairly. I hope AT&T's LGBT group, "LEAGUE" can give you that little extra clout you clearly need here. You are obviously providing them the kind of excellence AT&T expects; time for them to do the same for you.

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  41. As a mum of my own tg daughter chloe(nice name she chose it because it had been on my girl name list),I find this situation dreadful. I hope someone comes to thier senses over this.My chloe has job issues too, she has one that she transitioned through,its well paying but its constant shift work, changing jobs is like mountain climbing,very daunting. I wish you luck :)

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