I was thinking this morning when I got up, I take for granted that I do not have to worry about my beard anymore... or other issues of passing. However, in those first years, I felt that, every time I went out, I wanted to make the most of EVERY moment to express my new lease on life to dress and "be" feminine in my presentation.
Looking over this woman's pictures, in most of them, she'd be wearing what I would consider business attire for a board room, or a female attorney to wear to court in many poses from all over - from the side of the high way, to the woods, to the beaches.... there she was - looking spectacular among the slums of little china town, and not at all fitting in with her environment or the other common appropriate dress of geographical area, temperature, let a lone for the beach.
People sometimes wonder why they stand out looking like a "GenderVariant Individule" (GVI) - this is the reason. Most women do not do these things, unless you are Ms.Roper from 3's company or Tammy Faye Baker.
Granted - there are times where you will be on your way to somewhere and you just happen to click a picture and it looks out of place - but, this is not the case of the behavior I am describing.
For many Part time GVI's, they feel "any" opportunity to get out "dressed", (even if its to pump gas), its FINALLY the chance to wear those rhinestone jeans with white heels... The Part-time GVI''s are not alone - I have noticed even some Full-time pre/post-op TransWoman doing this, as well. That is to say, rather than being practical, they HAVE to put on their makeup, earrings -and- make sure their nails are done before they can even get up to do lawn work in the morning.
When one goes out to dinner, a comedy club, dancing, theater, conferences, dates... these are the things I would consider ladies (and guys) get gussied up for.
I just had to pause at these pic's - not because she looked bad , not becasue she didn't pass, not becasue she wasn't beautiful... she was. It was because this was another form of cross dressing behavoir - Its what I refered to as "Crossing OVER Dressing". Its when someone has (or is) working on going Full-time and is still expressing themselves through their clothes for validation or plain out right reaction of others, and are not yet comfortable with who they are to just "be" themselves and slip on a t-shirt, shorts and head out and mow the lawn, without having to put on a show for... well... themselves.
I've caught myself doing this... and even NON-GenderVariant people too.
Chloe,
ReplyDeleteI ventured out for the first time for a long time in feminine attire the other week. Part of the trip involved driving to a hair appointment in the evening.
When I was planning what to wear I checked with a female friend if the outfit I'd chosen was suitable for the salon. She agreed that it was so on the day in question I wore jeans, a blouse and a pair of wedge sandals. Throughout the day I felt comfortable and didn't think that I stood out at all. I got a couple of looks which might have been someone reading me but generally nobody paid me any attention that I noticed.
Hopefully I'll be able to avoid "Crossing OVER Dressing" simply by trying to wear things that let me feel comfortable in a given situation.
Hi, yes it is true, the lawyer's women's suit is overdressed for shopping the chinese bazaar, or any supermarket. But for agora shy or phobic, getting out of the house to walk a few blocks to get fast food may be the only chance for skirt and blouse, or settle for closet home only.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Chloe...and so true. I think we ALL have been guilty of this at times. It seems there would be less of an excuse for a full-time TG to cross-over-dress. On the other hand, many of us only get to dress a few times a year, IF that often. When we finally have the opportunity, the urge,to coin a new verb..."femme to the max" can be overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteWhen I shop I am drawn to the beautiful clothes, the feminine clothes...not the t-shirts and jeans. When I put on makeup I always feel I need more. Perhaps Tammy Faye was a man in a former life...you think? I have never had a hard time passing in public but I still feel I need more femininity to expose to the world. I know this is not really true and I'm trying to cut back on the glam and makeup somewhat...see what the public will accept. As I do this, I'm constantly amazed at how LITTLE they seem to expect...lol. I'm tempted to throw on some sneakers, shorts, a plain t-shirt, a wig, and some earrings. Ok, ok...I probably won't be able to resist some mascara and maybe a little lipstick. Perhaps I should throw on a bracelet and maybe a tiny necklace. And would a little foundation help? Yikes!!! I need help...lol.
Thanks for all you do :)Suzi
Interestingly enough, I've found myself doing this less. I find I'm more often wearing jeans and a top than a skirt or dress to work. It's like I don't have to wear a dress to feel feminine anymore. Mind you, I still love the chance to dress up for special occasions and such but I'm beginning to be ok with not doing this on a daily basis.
ReplyDeletefor me at my early stage of transition, i still need 'practice time' even if i look out of place, but am learning the 'make-up' routine time to optimize how long it takes to get ready to go out for the more appropriate times. i still don't have all that 'routine' sorted out yet, as others have had a lifetime to sort that out, and can readily 'step outside' in a pinch for any occasion.
ReplyDeleteplus it could be a cultural aspect, in North America, girls tend to be dressed up only for work and for fancy evening events or dinner dates, but often in Europe, or rather Paris, France, one can find girls dolled up virtually 7 days a week, all day even for casual times, if not in clothing, but at least they have their 'face' on... some are better suited to do the 'face' all the time, as they have an iconic look that is 'very them', so they rarely would be caught 'stepping outside' without it.
Saint Suelle
I love the part when you said she didn't pass. You mean she didn't pass as a female ?
ReplyDelete"What stood out the most when I look at them, is that she was very out of place for the way she was dressed, hair was groom, and the amount and type of make-up she wore."
I agree with you saying that she has a kind "pop" going on but I think it's because she wants it. She wants that attention because she is like of a big deal to some people. I honestly don't really care for her fashion sense. I find it to be degrading to my sex/gender. I don't think "real women" look like her.
Honestly, I feel that our society has a messed up, skewed idea of what the ideal woman is or what she supposed to look like. I came across your story after stumbling around. I just happen to be writing a paper on how I felt about how society viewed women. I would like to know how you feel about our cultural conditioning and social gender schema, we as women are supposed to follow. Reading this article gave me a little peak of what you may think. Do you think that women should be kept in a box of normalcy ? And if they step out of that box, are they less of a woman ?
It makes me sick to have to be under constant pressure to look a certain way. Maybe I don't want to be paper thin. I would rather not have huge breast because they could lead me to have severe back pain. Blonde hair is an over-rated, and when over done makes the even the natural blonde look white trash. As photographer and artist, I am not going to deny that there is something about being feminine that is truly beautiful. However, beauty is subjective. Therefore, I deem my own perfection.
@Suzy Bundy - I'm not suggesting that women or anyone for that matter be kept in a box. What I am saying is, that for the transgender people that feel the way I do, they want to "pass". Speaking for myself, I try to blend in as best I can. It gives me credibility and the ability to live my life, and my children from being teased - etc. Maybe thats not important to an artist or other women - but to TransWomen that do want to pass and blend, it is.
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