Come, Walk with Me

As a parent, I've stood by many times, knowing my oldest child (Logan) was lying to me -and- worse yet, in one instance, to the point he was trying to convince himself. The sad thing is that in order for him to believe himself, he needed to rearrange the truth I already knew because I am an experienced adult that has lived longer, traveled far and done many things.  God love him though... he stuck to his story for almost 6 months.... that is until his own art, became reality. 

Oh, but how time can change things.  Logan now being older, wiser and more experienced both in the art of life and even story telling, has now fallen to frustration of his younger brother, Barry... thats because Barry, knew his bothers one little secret, that could bring his older brother to his knees.

You see, the kids and I have been playing a game on the Wii for some time that you have to grow your character and earn experiences, items and develop the character over time.  Now I have been playing this game A LOT more than they had. As a result, had grown my character accordingly, over time.  About 6 months ago, some how, Logan more than out paced me by 2 fold. He never would confess to my suspicions... although, being an avid player of the game for a few years, I knew better - and I knew better than to corner him on it.  Barry however, did.

Barry exercising discipline and strategy over his opponent, took the high road.  He had been watching me play, and already had an example of what he wanted to do with his character - knew it would take time and put in the hours to get it done. Logan, didn't - so when Logan one day bragged about how his character was equal to Barry's, his little 7 year brother let him have it with both barrels...

The kids have been going to Karate and playing other sports - learning the value of discipline, integrity and team work... that being said...

Last night, Logan comes to me, and tells me, "Mom... I'm sorry."  

I said to him, "...for heaven sakes what for?"  

He says, "I used a code a friend gave me to develop a character that HE already had groomed way ahead, and just changed everything to my own name."  

"I know..."  I said.

He says to me "Why didn't you ever bust me on it?"  

I said "Let me ask YOU something...why did you bother to tell me"?  

Thinking for a second, Logan says, "Well, Barry has been playing the game for over a year now, and he has developed his character almost as good as mine - and he's really good at it... and he knows all the secrets to the game cause he's found them all... and I don't know any of them..."

I said, "...so who did you REALLY cheat then?"  

"He said, "well... I guess me :( " 

Sympathetically I said "..well, then I'm not the one your REALLY apologizing too... huh?"

"no... I guess not." he says reluctantly.

I hug him, and then say,  "...people will sometime extend you dignity, when they know your only lying to yourself, because they know saying anything to you will only make it worse.  Thats because people will deny it harder and longer because they feel defensive to protect the lie. Eventually, it eats them alive... thats why I never said anything - I knew you cheated... but, I knew eventually you'd see the value in the effort that Barry and I have put in to developing our game experience... short cuts NEVER pay off - because you can't always buy your way out of trouble, nor try to justify yourself as the "same" as someone that HAS logged the hours to learn and play the game.  Think about your Karate classes - how would you feel if someone on their first day was GIVEN a Black Belt?  Now think about if that person said they were the same or better than you?"

"Well that wouldn't be the same - because I had to go to years of school, pay lots of money and work hard - I have to make a commitment to the discipline and endure pain and dedicate my time to it... and they just walk in, buy a belt and say they are the same as me?... thats not fair!" Logan exclaims.

"Your right... its NOT the same" I said. "But there will ALWAYS be someone that needs or will try to make you feel LESS, so they can continue to delude themselves into thinking they're equal, or more.

Logan says "Well, I'd really like to start over?" 

I said "Sure... but you'll loose everything you put into this character..."  

Logan shrugged "I've got to start somewhere... what do I need to do?"  

I smiled - hugged him, and said, "...come on - walk with me".